Lamentations...

This week I've been reading Lamentations. I am not yet finished, even though it isn't a long book, because as any mother of children (especially those with very small children or with very many children) can tell you, life is often disrupted by blessings with pitter pattering feet and sometimes the screams of joy or frustration that accompany those adorable and usually sweet smelling feet!

But I digress...

Lamentations... it's a funny thing, really, because when I opened my Bible the other day, I intended to read in Proverbs. I believe the Lord had other plans for me, though, as I opened to a random page and the next page change landed me right smack dab in the middle of Lamentations. A verse jumped out at me and I read a bit, then a bit more, and then decided "hey, this is chapter three, I should go back and start at the beginning" - so I did.

Yes, I'm a rambler, you'll get used to it! ;)

Chapter three of Lamentations. The author of this book is moaning and, well, complaining. He sees his wretched state and feels abandoned by God. He hurts and he cries, and he feels alone. He is alone - and yet, he is not.

(17) "...he hath thrown down, and hath not pitied: and he hath caused thine enemy to rejoice over thee, he hath set up the horn of thine adversaries. (18) Their heart cried unto the Lord, O wall of the daughter of Zion, let tears run down like a river day and night: give thyself no rest: let not the apple of thine eye cease. (19) Arise, cry out in the night: in the beginning of the watches pour out thine heart..."

OK, not exactly Proverbs, is it? and not exactly uplifting... but you know, it grabbed me - it was what I needed... to be humbled and reflect on the wretched state that is me. I am a sinner and there are sins that I battle with, and sometimes I don't even battle, I just freely give in to them - and then I feel guilty and wretched and wonder if God still is there. So very thankfully, I know He is - it isn't Him that walks away, is it? It's me... the sinner who turns her back on her faithful God to do or say or think unfaithful things... Convicting? Yes. True? Oh my, is it. And yet I keep reading...

Still chapter 3 of Lamentations - (21) "This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. (22) It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. (23) They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness."

That reminds me of a song from camp as a kid... oh the memories... oh the grace the Lord taught me there... but that's a rabbit trail best saved for another time. See? I'm learning...

I have hope - even in my sinful nature there is hope for better, for more... and it is new every morning! I might mess up terribly, but I can start fresh! Thank you, Lord, for that... You are far more forgiving than me - so far beyond seventy times seven...

Back to Lamentations - (25) "The Lord is good unto them that wair for him, to the soul that seeketh him... (28) He sitteth alone and keepeth silence, because he hath borne it upon him. (29) He putteth his mouth in the dust; if so be there many be hope. (30) He giveth his cheek to him that smitheth him: he is filled full with reproach. (31) For the Lord will not cast off forever: (32) but though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies."

Skipping ahead just a bit (40) " Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the Lord. (41) Let us lift up our heart with our hands unto God in the heavens. (42) We have transgressed and have rebelled" (oh boy have I...) "thou hast not pardoned. (43) Thou hast made us as the offscouring and refuse in the midst of the people" (isn't that a pretty picture?)

Ahead a bit again, (55) "I called upon thy name, O Lord, out of the low dungeon. (56) Thou hast seen my wrong: judge thou my cause."

Proverbs gives words of wisdom, Psalms gives songs of praise and cries of sorrow... but Lamentations... it hits where we are weak, doesn't it? It shows this earthly daughter how pathetic and how very nothing she is in her own right... it humbles. There is a great need of humbling, though, isn't there? We get proud and sure of ourselves, easily looking the other way from our sins, seeing what we view as our righteous causes and conveniently forgetting our sinful struggles and failures. And then we read Lamentations - not by purpose of reading it, but because the Lord knows we need humbling. We need to slow down, stop, see the sin in our lives as the ugly canker that it truly is. To heartily apologize to the Lord for allllll of that sin weighing us down, and to ask Him to make us new in Him... again... and I do. I am a wretched sinner, and I bring my face to His feet and beg His mercy and forgiveness yet again. I do not deserve it, not by a long stretch, but still He offers it... freely... lovingly... willingly... and I gratefully accept.

Thank you, Lord.