I love these verses...
Psalm 30: 11-12
"Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness;
"To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever."
Indeed, our mourning has many times over been turned into praise, dancing and thankfullness to the Lord for His great grace and mercy. Underserved as it is. I thank and praise Him!
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Coming up for air...
The last month and a half have been a swarm of activity, so I apologize for neglecting you...
First, please be in prayer for my friend Sarah and her family... their 7 month old infant died recently, the youngest of nine precious children in a wonderfully close-knit family... needless to say, this has left a tremendous hole and immeasurable hurt in their lives.
Next, my OB, who is a wonderful, exceptional high risk pregnancy specialist also very recently lost his wife to a battle with cancer... She was diagnosed one week after our Hannah was born, given months to live, and yet surpassed that timeframe given by her doctors, which was a gift and an answer to prayer. Her final month was very difficult for her and her husband as the cancer became painful and she really struggled with pain in her final weeks. I can only imagine how difficult that must have been for her husband, our wonderful doctor, to sit by and not be able to really DO anything to make things better for her... She has been gone for almost a month now, but after 40+ years together, he is missing her tremendously and learning to adjust to a "new normal". Please be remembering him in your prayers as well as their two children and grandchildren...
On a similar note, in speaking of my OB, we had another ultrasound this past week, and our little guy is growing well and everything looks good so far! We praise the Lord for this answer to prayer, especially after our very painful loss back in October. It appears that we have our third boy on the way, due in September, which means, with our labor history, we'll most likely have an August birth - which is extra fun, as we do not yet have any August babies!
Life has been swimmingly busy in recent weeks, as we finish up the school year, prepare for summer projects for 4-H, gardening, animals, and projects around the house and property... I'm told we "officially" have a farm now, haha, though with it's small size I suspect "Hobby Farm" might be a more accurate description. Either way, we are greatly enjoying the animals! George (the calf) is now weaned from the bottle... another learning experience for me, as I thought he had been dehorned, is that his bull horns are growing in! We have a trip planned for this coming week to haul him back to the dairy we bought him from, as the dairy manager said he would take care of that for us, if we wanted to make the trip - that was an easy decision!! :) The pigs are getting quite large, and will most likely be ready to butcher in late June or in July, and it appears we already have a couple of buyers for at least one of the pigs through my husband's co-workers! We've gone back to store-bought ham and bacon, as we used up the last of last year's meat a couple of months ago, so we are very much looking forward to filling the freezer with our home-grown pork once again! Next year will be even more interesting, when it's time to butcher pigs *and* our cow! I'm not sure how we'll fit all the meat into the freezers, but I'm thinking we'll probably figure something out!
Plans for livestock - we are tossing around the idea of getting another calf after butchering the pigs, so that we have another ready to butcher 6 months or so after butchering George next year in the autumn/ early winter, and there is the thought that we might sell half of George's meat and keep half for ourselves if we do go that route... that would certainly make the freezer issue less of a problem! :) Besides, I have NO idea where we would put another freezer!! Anyway, we'll see how it all goes, but raising a calf has been a considerable bit easier than I had anticipated! We shall see...
Our chicks are growing so well, they are nearly the size of the adult chickens, and another homeschooling family asked me if they could give us their chicks once they were done hatching and watching them grow the first few weeks... since we already had some, it was an easy question for them! Anyway, we now have 3 additional *little* chicks, in a brooder box back in the kitchen, haha ~ I'm looking forward to in a week or so, trying to combine our adult chickens with the big chicks, to see if they are ready to mix and get along well... if that works, then we can move the newest three chickies into the separate partition inside of the chicken shed, and I can get my kitchen counter back... again! :) Still, it's been fun having the baby chicks again, and in another few months, I suspect we're going to have more eggs than we know what to do with!! (that's easy, actually - we can sell the extras through our homeschooling group and put the money towards chicken feed!)
The weather has been interesting... we keep hoping that spring is here, and then we get another wintery storm... no snow in the last two weeks, though, so I'm hopeful! The garden has been a complete flop the last two years I've attempted it, so I'm listening to the wisdom of others and hoping to see good results this time around! So far, tomatos and a variety of squash are doing very well, protected by wall-o-waters - something I haven't used before, but seem to make a world of difference! *and* I learned a new trick this week, talking to the gal at our local extension office... she wraps plastic wrap around her tomato cages to put over the young tomato plants, so they have the protection from wind and weather, as well as the support of the cages! I'm thinking about trying that when we put more of our plant starts out in the garden (then we can move the wall-o-waters to those plants and the tomatos will still be protected!) Anyway, I thought that was a neat idea!
I guess most of this is mundane rambling... my brain feels like mush today! There are so many activities and things going on lately that it's hard to separate them out into a logical sequence and share in a blog post! Perhaps later, when things quiet down, I can share more of the interesting things and events, with my brain functional and sensible! hah!
For now, have a great week! When my husband can take a moment and scan the ultrasound pics, I'll post them here - we got a frontal face shot, a foot (I loooove baby feet!!!) and two profile pictures with our latest ultrasound - hopefully we can scan and post two or three of them :)
First, please be in prayer for my friend Sarah and her family... their 7 month old infant died recently, the youngest of nine precious children in a wonderfully close-knit family... needless to say, this has left a tremendous hole and immeasurable hurt in their lives.
Next, my OB, who is a wonderful, exceptional high risk pregnancy specialist also very recently lost his wife to a battle with cancer... She was diagnosed one week after our Hannah was born, given months to live, and yet surpassed that timeframe given by her doctors, which was a gift and an answer to prayer. Her final month was very difficult for her and her husband as the cancer became painful and she really struggled with pain in her final weeks. I can only imagine how difficult that must have been for her husband, our wonderful doctor, to sit by and not be able to really DO anything to make things better for her... She has been gone for almost a month now, but after 40+ years together, he is missing her tremendously and learning to adjust to a "new normal". Please be remembering him in your prayers as well as their two children and grandchildren...
On a similar note, in speaking of my OB, we had another ultrasound this past week, and our little guy is growing well and everything looks good so far! We praise the Lord for this answer to prayer, especially after our very painful loss back in October. It appears that we have our third boy on the way, due in September, which means, with our labor history, we'll most likely have an August birth - which is extra fun, as we do not yet have any August babies!
Life has been swimmingly busy in recent weeks, as we finish up the school year, prepare for summer projects for 4-H, gardening, animals, and projects around the house and property... I'm told we "officially" have a farm now, haha, though with it's small size I suspect "Hobby Farm" might be a more accurate description. Either way, we are greatly enjoying the animals! George (the calf) is now weaned from the bottle... another learning experience for me, as I thought he had been dehorned, is that his bull horns are growing in! We have a trip planned for this coming week to haul him back to the dairy we bought him from, as the dairy manager said he would take care of that for us, if we wanted to make the trip - that was an easy decision!! :) The pigs are getting quite large, and will most likely be ready to butcher in late June or in July, and it appears we already have a couple of buyers for at least one of the pigs through my husband's co-workers! We've gone back to store-bought ham and bacon, as we used up the last of last year's meat a couple of months ago, so we are very much looking forward to filling the freezer with our home-grown pork once again! Next year will be even more interesting, when it's time to butcher pigs *and* our cow! I'm not sure how we'll fit all the meat into the freezers, but I'm thinking we'll probably figure something out!
Plans for livestock - we are tossing around the idea of getting another calf after butchering the pigs, so that we have another ready to butcher 6 months or so after butchering George next year in the autumn/ early winter, and there is the thought that we might sell half of George's meat and keep half for ourselves if we do go that route... that would certainly make the freezer issue less of a problem! :) Besides, I have NO idea where we would put another freezer!! Anyway, we'll see how it all goes, but raising a calf has been a considerable bit easier than I had anticipated! We shall see...
Our chicks are growing so well, they are nearly the size of the adult chickens, and another homeschooling family asked me if they could give us their chicks once they were done hatching and watching them grow the first few weeks... since we already had some, it was an easy question for them! Anyway, we now have 3 additional *little* chicks, in a brooder box back in the kitchen, haha ~ I'm looking forward to in a week or so, trying to combine our adult chickens with the big chicks, to see if they are ready to mix and get along well... if that works, then we can move the newest three chickies into the separate partition inside of the chicken shed, and I can get my kitchen counter back... again! :) Still, it's been fun having the baby chicks again, and in another few months, I suspect we're going to have more eggs than we know what to do with!! (that's easy, actually - we can sell the extras through our homeschooling group and put the money towards chicken feed!)
The weather has been interesting... we keep hoping that spring is here, and then we get another wintery storm... no snow in the last two weeks, though, so I'm hopeful! The garden has been a complete flop the last two years I've attempted it, so I'm listening to the wisdom of others and hoping to see good results this time around! So far, tomatos and a variety of squash are doing very well, protected by wall-o-waters - something I haven't used before, but seem to make a world of difference! *and* I learned a new trick this week, talking to the gal at our local extension office... she wraps plastic wrap around her tomato cages to put over the young tomato plants, so they have the protection from wind and weather, as well as the support of the cages! I'm thinking about trying that when we put more of our plant starts out in the garden (then we can move the wall-o-waters to those plants and the tomatos will still be protected!) Anyway, I thought that was a neat idea!
I guess most of this is mundane rambling... my brain feels like mush today! There are so many activities and things going on lately that it's hard to separate them out into a logical sequence and share in a blog post! Perhaps later, when things quiet down, I can share more of the interesting things and events, with my brain functional and sensible! hah!
For now, have a great week! When my husband can take a moment and scan the ultrasound pics, I'll post them here - we got a frontal face shot, a foot (I loooove baby feet!!!) and two profile pictures with our latest ultrasound - hopefully we can scan and post two or three of them :)
Monday, March 12, 2012
Growing the barnyard...
So, it's nearly spring... this brings warmer weather (which is nice, since we didn't get much snow this year... if it's not going to snow, it may as well warm up, right??!). Warmer weather brings new life... and our place is abounding with new life these days!
Aside from the animals we already had (1 rooster, 8 laying hens, and 2 horses) we have just added (in the last week) 11 new babies (not counting the babe growing within me... more on that in another post! I need to have my husband scan the ultrasound picture so I can post it here... we got a great profile pic, but I don't know how to put it on the computer... but I'm rabbit trailing...)
No, rabbit trailing wasn't a play on words... the only rabbits here are the wild ones ;)
We've added:
6 baby chicks... we bought black star and red star chicks this year, since they are "sex linked" (meaning you can tell their gender based upon their coloring) and we are assured that we won't get another surprise rooster (one is fun and I enjoy his crowing, but more than one would just be too much...) and we know from the chickens we already have that these two breeds are great egg layers of very large brown eggs! Right now, these chicks don't have names... but we're watching them to see how they distinguish themselves, so we can name them (and tell them apart!)
4 piglets... right now they weigh about 50 pounds each - by slaughtering time, they should weigh around 200 pounds or more - when they are a bit bigger, they are GREAT composters!! We can feed them kitchen scraps and garden scraps, which helps minimize our trash going to the dump and helps with our feed bill! We'll keep two for our own freezer, and sell the other two at butchering time. We have one barrow (female) whom we have named Petunia and three gilts (males) named Porky, Hamlet, and Sausage.
1 calf... he's 2 weeks old and weighs about 200 pounds. Next fall, when it will be slaughtering time, he should weigh between 800 and 1,000 pounds - and he's a smaller breed! We bought him from a dairy farm, since they sell their steers but keep their heifers for future breeders and milk producers. His name is George, and we had intended to bottle feed him, but he simply will not take to the bottle, so I'm feeding him milk replacer from a bucket, which works just fine, too! Actually, it might even be a tad bit easier, because I can mix the milk right in the bucket, which I could not do in a bottle.
They have been such fun to have on our little "hobby farm"!
Aside from the animals we already had (1 rooster, 8 laying hens, and 2 horses) we have just added (in the last week) 11 new babies (not counting the babe growing within me... more on that in another post! I need to have my husband scan the ultrasound picture so I can post it here... we got a great profile pic, but I don't know how to put it on the computer... but I'm rabbit trailing...)
No, rabbit trailing wasn't a play on words... the only rabbits here are the wild ones ;)
We've added:
6 baby chicks... we bought black star and red star chicks this year, since they are "sex linked" (meaning you can tell their gender based upon their coloring) and we are assured that we won't get another surprise rooster (one is fun and I enjoy his crowing, but more than one would just be too much...) and we know from the chickens we already have that these two breeds are great egg layers of very large brown eggs! Right now, these chicks don't have names... but we're watching them to see how they distinguish themselves, so we can name them (and tell them apart!)
4 piglets... right now they weigh about 50 pounds each - by slaughtering time, they should weigh around 200 pounds or more - when they are a bit bigger, they are GREAT composters!! We can feed them kitchen scraps and garden scraps, which helps minimize our trash going to the dump and helps with our feed bill! We'll keep two for our own freezer, and sell the other two at butchering time. We have one barrow (female) whom we have named Petunia and three gilts (males) named Porky, Hamlet, and Sausage.
1 calf... he's 2 weeks old and weighs about 200 pounds. Next fall, when it will be slaughtering time, he should weigh between 800 and 1,000 pounds - and he's a smaller breed! We bought him from a dairy farm, since they sell their steers but keep their heifers for future breeders and milk producers. His name is George, and we had intended to bottle feed him, but he simply will not take to the bottle, so I'm feeding him milk replacer from a bucket, which works just fine, too! Actually, it might even be a tad bit easier, because I can mix the milk right in the bucket, which I could not do in a bottle.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Mary, Mary, how does your garden grow?
Well, mine won't be cockelshells and all the other stuff in Mary Quite Contrary's garden - but it's about that time to be thinking ahead, isn't it?
So, the last two years my garden has been a complete and utter failure... a flop... a waste of water and time... frustrating and often beyond pointless! Our soil is mostly clay and/ or gumbo, our winds can rip through just about anything, including blowing plants over, pushing tomato cages sideways, and well, you get the idea.
This year I'm hoping things are different. For starters I heard about a couple of things I can do to improve my growing area - I could spend thousands of dollars (that I don't even come close to having) to improve our soil quality, OR I can make raised garden beds... gee, guess what we're doing?? Then, talking with a friend who is an absolute genius with plants and gardens, I got the tip to put my planter boxes (just the 4 walls/ frames) down in their designated places and then to layer the bottom with cardboard (cool - saves us a trip to the recycling place!!!) and then pile with manure (no problem there, our horses have been obliging us with LOTS of that...) and let it compost... top with soil and plants!
Then I heard about another method... the hugelkulture - interesting stuff... you can read more about it on a guy's blog who has cool equipment and way more knowledge than me here: http://www.pierresoleil.com/ourblog/?ny0wOYCy
So, the guy we bought our house from had this huge pile of firewood (and yet, the house has no fireplace... yet...) so we gave a lot of it away last fall to people in our homeschool group who actually do have fireplaces! Well, we had a lot of little chunks of wood and scraps and chips and... all still piled up behind the barn, and I've been wanting to get it all cleaned up and hauled away - well, no problem - send the kids out with the wagon and wheelbarrow and have them pick up all of those little pieces of wood to haul to the garden for me, where I dump them into the garden boxes and pile over the top with manure...
It's not exactly the hugelkulture method, but combined methods of two tried and true methods... I'm hoping for good results!
Now to find a way to combat the wind... I've thought about putting boards up around the lower half of our garden's fence (used to be a large dog run - I use it as a fenced garden to keep children and critters from playing in it!) but that would block some of the sun... so I"m not really sure if that will work or not... or what I'll end up doing for that respect - but there's time to figure it out yet :)
Praying this proves to be a far-less-expensive way to produce a good garden with decent soil/ growing medium!
So, the last two years my garden has been a complete and utter failure... a flop... a waste of water and time... frustrating and often beyond pointless! Our soil is mostly clay and/ or gumbo, our winds can rip through just about anything, including blowing plants over, pushing tomato cages sideways, and well, you get the idea.
This year I'm hoping things are different. For starters I heard about a couple of things I can do to improve my growing area - I could spend thousands of dollars (that I don't even come close to having) to improve our soil quality, OR I can make raised garden beds... gee, guess what we're doing?? Then, talking with a friend who is an absolute genius with plants and gardens, I got the tip to put my planter boxes (just the 4 walls/ frames) down in their designated places and then to layer the bottom with cardboard (cool - saves us a trip to the recycling place!!!) and then pile with manure (no problem there, our horses have been obliging us with LOTS of that...) and let it compost... top with soil and plants!
Then I heard about another method... the hugelkulture - interesting stuff... you can read more about it on a guy's blog who has cool equipment and way more knowledge than me here: http://www.pierresoleil.com/ourblog/?ny0wOYCy
So, the guy we bought our house from had this huge pile of firewood (and yet, the house has no fireplace... yet...) so we gave a lot of it away last fall to people in our homeschool group who actually do have fireplaces! Well, we had a lot of little chunks of wood and scraps and chips and... all still piled up behind the barn, and I've been wanting to get it all cleaned up and hauled away - well, no problem - send the kids out with the wagon and wheelbarrow and have them pick up all of those little pieces of wood to haul to the garden for me, where I dump them into the garden boxes and pile over the top with manure...
It's not exactly the hugelkulture method, but combined methods of two tried and true methods... I'm hoping for good results!
Now to find a way to combat the wind... I've thought about putting boards up around the lower half of our garden's fence (used to be a large dog run - I use it as a fenced garden to keep children and critters from playing in it!) but that would block some of the sun... so I"m not really sure if that will work or not... or what I'll end up doing for that respect - but there's time to figure it out yet :)
Praying this proves to be a far-less-expensive way to produce a good garden with decent soil/ growing medium!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Ultrasound update
We had an ultrasound for this pregnancy on Friday - things look good so far, with a strong heartbeat of 180 beats per minute, and I could see our little peanut wiggling around in there - and was relieved to see that there is only one little peanut in there! lol - people often ask me "how do you do it?" in regards to a large family and my standard response is ONE AT A TIME! haha - well, I'm "advanced maternal age" these days (oh, don't I feel old?? lol - well, when I look in the mirror and see all the white hair that was once brownish auburnish colored... and the wrinkles around the eyes and... yeah, I feel kinda old these days, but not too old to have babies!) anyway, being "advanced maternal age" increases our chances of several things, including twins... and down's syndrome and other health issues... that's ok, though - none of it takes God by surprise - He has a plan, and however our babies come out, they are perfect within His great design!
Anyway, it was such a relief to see our little one moving around, and that strong, steady heartbeat... it is our hope and prayer that this pregnancy carries, and in August or September we are holding a sweet newborn again. :)
For the time being, my belly looks like a very bad archery target! With the twice daily needles/ injections that make sure my blood doesn't clot and cut off baby's blood and oxygen supply, and they always seem to bruise, it looks like someone is either a really bad archer or a horrible boxer, haha - thankfully it's nothing so violent as all that, and the injections increase our baby's chances of survival and health! I'll play pincushion for those odds to be sure!
Thank you for praying for our little wee one! Your prayers are more appreciated than I know how to express with words!
Anyway, it was such a relief to see our little one moving around, and that strong, steady heartbeat... it is our hope and prayer that this pregnancy carries, and in August or September we are holding a sweet newborn again. :)
For the time being, my belly looks like a very bad archery target! With the twice daily needles/ injections that make sure my blood doesn't clot and cut off baby's blood and oxygen supply, and they always seem to bruise, it looks like someone is either a really bad archer or a horrible boxer, haha - thankfully it's nothing so violent as all that, and the injections increase our baby's chances of survival and health! I'll play pincushion for those odds to be sure!
Thank you for praying for our little wee one! Your prayers are more appreciated than I know how to express with words!
My new sign...
We picked this up at Hobby Lobby last month - I haven't figured out where to hang it just yet, so for the time being, it's propped up on my dresser :)
It says:
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Our House
We do second chances
We say prayers
We do I'm sorry's
We do loud really well
We give hugs
We do love
We Are Family
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I so love this message - and boy howdy, do we do loud well!
It says:
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Our House
We do second chances
We say prayers
We do I'm sorry's
We do loud really well
We give hugs
We do love
We Are Family
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I so love this message - and boy howdy, do we do loud well!
Monday, February 6, 2012
Where DOES the time go?
So I tried to post something last week, and somehow managed to disable the internet access from my computer (ha - go ahead and laugh - I can be such a dunce...) took the majority of the day (and my husband coming home at the end of his workday to point out a fairly simple solution to my problem... yeah, I was feeling pretty dumb when he showed me the problem - but if I can't laugh at my mistakes, we have problems, because I tend to make at least my fair share, if not a bit in excess!!!!)
So I look back over the past couple of weeks and wonder where the time has gone? We've been sooo busy with day to day stuff... the stuff that you can't really *see* at the end of the day or week... and yet if it wasn't done, it would be painfully obvious, right? So we've been working on school (6 grades takes a good bit of the day to accomplish everything that everyone needs to get done - at least according to my lesson book... and I made the lesson book and filled in all the pages myself, so it's not a curriculum specific thing, lol - we just go through a lot of school stuff, but it's all good - the kids are learning, and for the most part they enjoy their studies (though there are a couple of the kids who really dislike math... or science - actually the science is fun, it's writing up the experiments and what not, and writing out the answers to all of the end of chapter questions... it's not *required*, per se, but I require it anyway, because I think it's good for them to do! *wink* As mom and teacher, I get to make those calls, and like it or not, it has to get done for them to get credit for the day's work!
So we needed some incentive... a few of the kids do great about focusing on school, getting in there and doing it, having fun, and ready to run off and play when their work is completed... that's so fun! However, there are a few who make me feel like a dentist at times, doing deep root surgery or even just pulling teeth to get it accomplished... so I put together an incentive chart - each day, each of my 6 school age kiddos (and the toddler little dude who likes to color "for school") can earn a star for good behavior and doing well with their work. If they don't earn their star, they get a line through that day instead. At the end of the week, those with 5 stars get a treat or a reward for a job well done! This has made it fun and extra rewarding for my extra cooperative kiddos, and has given some incentive for those less enthusiastic about schooling... the treats are simple - a sheet of stickers, a small baggie of jelly beans or gummy bears (I get the Surf Sweets brand or the Yummy Earth brand from amazon - no corn syrup, artificial dyes or flavors... no food reactions - yeah! and everybody likes them, so it's a win-win! Well, they are a little bit spendy, but it's a reward for once a week, so one box of treats will last us at least a month... so it's all good :)
Anyway, we've been keeping busy with school, cleaning house - I tackled the upstairs closet, the laundry room, kitchen cupboards, and the schoolroom... the school closet (with all of our curriculum and educational extras) took a full day... but I love how it's organized now!!!
The barn is clean, the chicken coop is clean, the garden has a very thick new layer of animal "organic material" added to it from the barn and chicken coop...
and that's about it.
We really haven't accomplished much that you can really *see* - and yet we've been sooooo busy! What's up with that??? Well, I guess that's just life... and I'm ok with that! One of the great things about being mom is that we don't have to have the recognition for daily tasks that seemed so important working outside of the home... Don't get me wrong, my husband notices and comments - which is very nice and encouraging! However, it doesn't go further than that. and I don't need it to! It's just nice knowing we're on top of school, doing well, kids learning and progressing well with their studies, and the house is, for the most part, clean. We have daily messes, and they have to be cleaned daily or it looks like it hasn't been done in months... but then there are ten bodies in our home making those messes, so I guess that's to be expected, right? So long as we start the day with a clean house and end the day with a clean house, I'm happy! (though I admit to having interrupted the school day about half way through for a quick clean up - if the mess is enough to drive me batty or to distraction... and that may or may not be the rule or the exception... but if you ask my kids, they will say that our vaccum cleaner does work overtime most days!
We're also working on some character training... it's amazing, isn't it, how feeling cabin feverish can bring out the ugly in us, isn't it? We had a couple of weeks with sub-zero temps, and very very cold, but above zero temps (10 to 18 degrees for a couple of weeks, with strong winds which made it feel even colder!) so we haven't had a lot of outside time... and patience has been running short amongst the kids (and yeah, sometimes me). We are looking forward to warmer temperatures that make outside time more of a frequent reality!
So I look back over the past couple of weeks and wonder where the time has gone? We've been sooo busy with day to day stuff... the stuff that you can't really *see* at the end of the day or week... and yet if it wasn't done, it would be painfully obvious, right? So we've been working on school (6 grades takes a good bit of the day to accomplish everything that everyone needs to get done - at least according to my lesson book... and I made the lesson book and filled in all the pages myself, so it's not a curriculum specific thing, lol - we just go through a lot of school stuff, but it's all good - the kids are learning, and for the most part they enjoy their studies (though there are a couple of the kids who really dislike math... or science - actually the science is fun, it's writing up the experiments and what not, and writing out the answers to all of the end of chapter questions... it's not *required*, per se, but I require it anyway, because I think it's good for them to do! *wink* As mom and teacher, I get to make those calls, and like it or not, it has to get done for them to get credit for the day's work!
So we needed some incentive... a few of the kids do great about focusing on school, getting in there and doing it, having fun, and ready to run off and play when their work is completed... that's so fun! However, there are a few who make me feel like a dentist at times, doing deep root surgery or even just pulling teeth to get it accomplished... so I put together an incentive chart - each day, each of my 6 school age kiddos (and the toddler little dude who likes to color "for school") can earn a star for good behavior and doing well with their work. If they don't earn their star, they get a line through that day instead. At the end of the week, those with 5 stars get a treat or a reward for a job well done! This has made it fun and extra rewarding for my extra cooperative kiddos, and has given some incentive for those less enthusiastic about schooling... the treats are simple - a sheet of stickers, a small baggie of jelly beans or gummy bears (I get the Surf Sweets brand or the Yummy Earth brand from amazon - no corn syrup, artificial dyes or flavors... no food reactions - yeah! and everybody likes them, so it's a win-win! Well, they are a little bit spendy, but it's a reward for once a week, so one box of treats will last us at least a month... so it's all good :)
Anyway, we've been keeping busy with school, cleaning house - I tackled the upstairs closet, the laundry room, kitchen cupboards, and the schoolroom... the school closet (with all of our curriculum and educational extras) took a full day... but I love how it's organized now!!!
The barn is clean, the chicken coop is clean, the garden has a very thick new layer of animal "organic material" added to it from the barn and chicken coop...
and that's about it.
We really haven't accomplished much that you can really *see* - and yet we've been sooooo busy! What's up with that??? Well, I guess that's just life... and I'm ok with that! One of the great things about being mom is that we don't have to have the recognition for daily tasks that seemed so important working outside of the home... Don't get me wrong, my husband notices and comments - which is very nice and encouraging! However, it doesn't go further than that. and I don't need it to! It's just nice knowing we're on top of school, doing well, kids learning and progressing well with their studies, and the house is, for the most part, clean. We have daily messes, and they have to be cleaned daily or it looks like it hasn't been done in months... but then there are ten bodies in our home making those messes, so I guess that's to be expected, right? So long as we start the day with a clean house and end the day with a clean house, I'm happy! (though I admit to having interrupted the school day about half way through for a quick clean up - if the mess is enough to drive me batty or to distraction... and that may or may not be the rule or the exception... but if you ask my kids, they will say that our vaccum cleaner does work overtime most days!
We're also working on some character training... it's amazing, isn't it, how feeling cabin feverish can bring out the ugly in us, isn't it? We had a couple of weeks with sub-zero temps, and very very cold, but above zero temps (10 to 18 degrees for a couple of weeks, with strong winds which made it feel even colder!) so we haven't had a lot of outside time... and patience has been running short amongst the kids (and yeah, sometimes me). We are looking forward to warmer temperatures that make outside time more of a frequent reality!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Abraham and Isaac... or Sarah and Rebekah...
Isn't it amazing how sometimes history repeats itself? Sometimes where it seems identical, but for the names of those involved...
Reading earlier in Genesis, Abraham recognizes that his wife Sarah is very beautiful, and as they are coming to a place where he fears that the men in power will kill him and take Sarah for themselves, he entreats her to tell the people that they are brother and sister. OK, well, they do share one parent in common, so they are half-siblings... but she is also his *wife*. She obeys her husband's words and is taken into the household of another man... his women's wombs are closed and he sees that he has been taken in by this deception and releases Sarah back to Abraham and tells them to leave (summarizing here...)
Fast forward... Isaac and Rebekah... there is a famine and God tells Isaac to sojourn in Gerar. In this place, there are men who ask Isaac about Rebekah, and he tells them that she is his sister. In order to save his own life, he allows her to be taken into another man's household. (!!!!) When confronted with this lie, he admits that he was afraid for his own life, hence the lie... (in his case, however, Rebekah is the daughter of his uncle - his mother's brother's daughter - NOT his sister, but a cousin)
What strikes me about this is that both men were so blessed by God... and yet they have essentially given their wives to other men, as if they were posessions and not a helpmeet given to them by the Lord... This I do not understand. How can a man willingly give his wife to be "taken" by another man in the manner of a husband? Would he not defend his wife? Protect that which is his to own? Should not her affections and physical attentions be reserved totally and completely for her husband? (I think yes...) so why would these two men so willingly give that up to another man? There has been no threat - at least not that is mentioned in my KJV - it's the worry of a threat... I don't understand this reasoning...
My husband pointed something else out in regards to this, after I shared with him my confusion... he said that on top of that, Abraham and Isaac showed a distinct lack of faith or trust. As he said, they did not immediately turn to the Lord in prayer, seeking wisdom, seeking protection - they took their own way and had their wives lie, and they lied, and they compromised the purity of their relationships with their wives.
And then I also wonder, how in the world must Sarah and Rebekah have felt through all of this?
"Well honey, these people who live here can be kind of scary, and I'm afraid for my life, so I want you to lie for me and allow these men the rights of a husband so that they won't hurt me..." OK, I know that's not quite how it was said, but that's the message I'm hearing between the lines... How is that right?
On top of that, how does God bless these men who would do such things?
I'm not questioning God, per se - I'm just looking for reason or understanding... His ways are higher than my ways or my comprehension, and He is GOD (and I most clearly am *not*!) Yet this puzzles me...
Abraham had faith, when God told him to offer Isaac on the altar as a sacrifice to the Lord, and Abraham was prepared - to the point of having bound his child and placed him on the alter (can you imagine how Isaac must have felt at that moment?? I doubt that he laid complacently, waiting to be killed and burned on the altar... but I could be wrong...) - he trusted God to provide a sacrifice, as he told Isaac while they were on their way to to place of sacrifice and worship - and God provided the ram, which became the sacrifice instead of Isaac... If Abraham had that kind of faith, that level of obedience to the Lord, why did he not have that faith when it came to his wife? And what of Isaac when he was a man and married... where did their faith go that they felt it acceptable to put their wives on the figurative altar? Was that before the time when good men sought to protect their wives and children?
I don't really know... but I do know that this issue baffles and troubles me... and I am so thankful to know that I have a husband who would not ask such a thing of me, but would rather seek to defend his wife and children...
Reading earlier in Genesis, Abraham recognizes that his wife Sarah is very beautiful, and as they are coming to a place where he fears that the men in power will kill him and take Sarah for themselves, he entreats her to tell the people that they are brother and sister. OK, well, they do share one parent in common, so they are half-siblings... but she is also his *wife*. She obeys her husband's words and is taken into the household of another man... his women's wombs are closed and he sees that he has been taken in by this deception and releases Sarah back to Abraham and tells them to leave (summarizing here...)
Fast forward... Isaac and Rebekah... there is a famine and God tells Isaac to sojourn in Gerar. In this place, there are men who ask Isaac about Rebekah, and he tells them that she is his sister. In order to save his own life, he allows her to be taken into another man's household. (!!!!) When confronted with this lie, he admits that he was afraid for his own life, hence the lie... (in his case, however, Rebekah is the daughter of his uncle - his mother's brother's daughter - NOT his sister, but a cousin)
What strikes me about this is that both men were so blessed by God... and yet they have essentially given their wives to other men, as if they were posessions and not a helpmeet given to them by the Lord... This I do not understand. How can a man willingly give his wife to be "taken" by another man in the manner of a husband? Would he not defend his wife? Protect that which is his to own? Should not her affections and physical attentions be reserved totally and completely for her husband? (I think yes...) so why would these two men so willingly give that up to another man? There has been no threat - at least not that is mentioned in my KJV - it's the worry of a threat... I don't understand this reasoning...
My husband pointed something else out in regards to this, after I shared with him my confusion... he said that on top of that, Abraham and Isaac showed a distinct lack of faith or trust. As he said, they did not immediately turn to the Lord in prayer, seeking wisdom, seeking protection - they took their own way and had their wives lie, and they lied, and they compromised the purity of their relationships with their wives.
And then I also wonder, how in the world must Sarah and Rebekah have felt through all of this?
"Well honey, these people who live here can be kind of scary, and I'm afraid for my life, so I want you to lie for me and allow these men the rights of a husband so that they won't hurt me..." OK, I know that's not quite how it was said, but that's the message I'm hearing between the lines... How is that right?
On top of that, how does God bless these men who would do such things?
I'm not questioning God, per se - I'm just looking for reason or understanding... His ways are higher than my ways or my comprehension, and He is GOD (and I most clearly am *not*!) Yet this puzzles me...
Abraham had faith, when God told him to offer Isaac on the altar as a sacrifice to the Lord, and Abraham was prepared - to the point of having bound his child and placed him on the alter (can you imagine how Isaac must have felt at that moment?? I doubt that he laid complacently, waiting to be killed and burned on the altar... but I could be wrong...) - he trusted God to provide a sacrifice, as he told Isaac while they were on their way to to place of sacrifice and worship - and God provided the ram, which became the sacrifice instead of Isaac... If Abraham had that kind of faith, that level of obedience to the Lord, why did he not have that faith when it came to his wife? And what of Isaac when he was a man and married... where did their faith go that they felt it acceptable to put their wives on the figurative altar? Was that before the time when good men sought to protect their wives and children?
I don't really know... but I do know that this issue baffles and troubles me... and I am so thankful to know that I have a husband who would not ask such a thing of me, but would rather seek to defend his wife and children...
Friday, January 20, 2012
Pitter Patter
I love baby feet... These are Hannah's at 13 months.
Looks like, if all goes well, she is going to be a big sister in August or September...
Praying all goes well this time.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Back to the barnyard!
So as promised, here's the bit on pigs...
Now, to start off, a few things I learned:
* Pigs are HAIRY!!! (who knew? I sure didn't!!)
* Pigs *smell*... but if you keep their area fairly clean, it's not too bad... and when you have pigs, you'll be really thankful for high wind days that blows away most of the smell ;) overall, it's not too bad, though! (I thought it might be worse)
* Pigs have unique personalities, just like kids do! Our pigs this past year liked to be rubbed behind their ears! (think of a dog with a snout and short legs... well, maybe not quite...)
* Pigs can be MEAN if you don't make a point of befriending them. I've heard horror stories from people before we got our two pigs this past spring, and honestly, I was kind of afraid of them at first... the guy we bought our little 50 pound piglets could see my fear and was very kind in trying to hide his laughter (he got several good laughs thanks to my ignorance - but I also learned a lot from the few conversations we had, so it's all good - and I can laugh at those things too! If you can't laugh at yourself, you have problems... ;)
So, our start up, two little 50 pound piglets:
And a little bigger...
Now, to start off, a few things I learned:
* Pigs are HAIRY!!! (who knew? I sure didn't!!)
* Pigs *smell*... but if you keep their area fairly clean, it's not too bad... and when you have pigs, you'll be really thankful for high wind days that blows away most of the smell ;) overall, it's not too bad, though! (I thought it might be worse)
* Pigs have unique personalities, just like kids do! Our pigs this past year liked to be rubbed behind their ears! (think of a dog with a snout and short legs... well, maybe not quite...)
* Pigs can be MEAN if you don't make a point of befriending them. I've heard horror stories from people before we got our two pigs this past spring, and honestly, I was kind of afraid of them at first... the guy we bought our little 50 pound piglets could see my fear and was very kind in trying to hide his laughter (he got several good laughs thanks to my ignorance - but I also learned a lot from the few conversations we had, so it's all good - and I can laugh at those things too! If you can't laugh at yourself, you have problems... ;)
So, our start up, two little 50 pound piglets:
And a little bigger...
And a little bigger... finally able to maneuver over the step to get outside!
And a whole lot bigger!!
Just after being killed and hosed off...
This is a friend's son, cutting and gutting - it is amazing how similar a pigs insides are similar to human insides! The first pig, I didn't touch the innards - the second time around, I did hold the heart - amazing creation! and the liver (which we gave to the neighbors for their dogs)
I don't have pictures of the butchering process, since my hands were fully in it all, and the kids weren't at all wanting to watch the learning process, haha - to be honest, it wasn't anywhere near the level of disgusting that I thought it would be- which was a huge relief! It was a neat learning experience, though! (and good eating after it was all said and done!)
This is what SUB-zero looks like:
Right now we are at 8 degrees below zero... now, I don't remember if it got this cold where I lived as a kid, though I have lots of great memories of playing in the snow, skiing, and building ice forts... Now, as an adult, after living in the south for 12+ years, it's kind of a shocker! However, we do enjoy it, and love the beauty of REAL WINTER!!!
These first two were taken today, of the waterfall/ dam about 10 minutes from the base here... if you look close, you can see how the water has frozen mid-fall... now *that* is COLD!
Below, you can see the chunked up ice where the water of the river has frozen... don't ask me why it does that, I don't know - but the effect is amazing!!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Becoming the barn yard...
No, the house isn't a barn yard... though sometimes the kids' rooms look like pigstyes! (they have, for the record, just recently given their rooms a very thorough cleaning and organizing... *ahhhh* much better... now we'll see how long it lasts before I need to remind them again!)
So, we started with chickens... I've never had chickens before, but was told they are easy, and in my homesteady desires to try my hand at raising our own food as much as possible, I thought I'd start with these!
We got a brooder tub, the heat lamp, pine straw, baby chick food and nutrient bar, the water and feed containers... and then we set it up in the master bathroom where the chicks would be safe from little overzealous hands... we bought ten little chickies from the local farm supply store, assured that we would have ten layers...
(picture taken March 2010)
One of the chickies got trampled by the others around the nutrient treat :( the other nine have thrived and flourished.
One of the chickies we named Duchess - we later realized Duchess would be more aptly named Duke ;)
Well, the chickens in the bathroom idea proved to protect the chickies from little anxious to hold those fuzzy little babies hands - but it also proved to make more dust in any given week than I think I have ever seen in my home in years and years - oh my!!!
So my wonderful husband took on the task of renovating the shed on our property... the flood had dry-rotted boards and unfinished walls. When we bought this house the shed was already here, as was the barn, the fenced in dog run (which has become my primary garden area), and the garage. We've never had a two car garage before, or a detached shed, so you can imagine that we simply did not have *stuff* to put in them, and even played with the idea of tearing down the shed. Well, my brilliant husband had the awesome idea of turning that otherwise un-needed shed into a chicken shed! Yeah! So, he ripped out all of the floor boards (I helped a little, but he did the large majority of it himself) and replaced them, cut, tongue and groove, nailed in, walls covered (more cutting and placing tongue in groove) and then he created a divider wall of wood and mesh screen doors, covering the lower portion with chicken wire. The finished result was FANTASTIC! (and if you consider that this was his first ever renovating project, it is all the more amazing - I really do not think a professional could have done better!!!)
The inside. Growing baby chicks love the new space!
From the outside of the chicken area, but still inside the shed.
The chicks just grow and grow and grow... we added some more nesting boxes and continue to watch them grow!
Fast forward almost a year! They are full grown and great layers!
(I don't have a picture right now, but will come back and add one!)
Chickens are fun, easy to keep, and contrary to all that I've heard about how they peck you when you gather eggs, and all of that, I haven't experienced anything like that... (just wait until they aren't on a nest to gather the eggs in the nests!)
Interesting notes - it seems with our chicks, there are two or three favorite nesting spots... never mind that there are enough boxes for them to each have their very own - and by putting an energy saver light bulb in one of the brooder lamps/ heat lamps, we can keep light on for them even on the darker days without running up an astronomical electric bill!
Home raised chickens' eggs are darker in color, richer in flavor, and fun to gather ;) it's exciting to see how many eggs we get each day!
This coming spring, when it's chick season again, we're thinking about getting another batch of baby chicks - doubling our little flock! We couldn't possibly use that many eggs, but I learned from a friend of mine that by having the extra eggs to sell, it basically makes the chickens pay for themselves!
Coming up next, our pig adventure!
So, we started with chickens... I've never had chickens before, but was told they are easy, and in my homesteady desires to try my hand at raising our own food as much as possible, I thought I'd start with these!
We got a brooder tub, the heat lamp, pine straw, baby chick food and nutrient bar, the water and feed containers... and then we set it up in the master bathroom where the chicks would be safe from little overzealous hands... we bought ten little chickies from the local farm supply store, assured that we would have ten layers...
One of the chickies got trampled by the others around the nutrient treat :( the other nine have thrived and flourished.
One of the chickies we named Duchess - we later realized Duchess would be more aptly named Duke ;)
Well, the chickens in the bathroom idea proved to protect the chickies from little anxious to hold those fuzzy little babies hands - but it also proved to make more dust in any given week than I think I have ever seen in my home in years and years - oh my!!!
So my wonderful husband took on the task of renovating the shed on our property... the flood had dry-rotted boards and unfinished walls. When we bought this house the shed was already here, as was the barn, the fenced in dog run (which has become my primary garden area), and the garage. We've never had a two car garage before, or a detached shed, so you can imagine that we simply did not have *stuff* to put in them, and even played with the idea of tearing down the shed. Well, my brilliant husband had the awesome idea of turning that otherwise un-needed shed into a chicken shed! Yeah! So, he ripped out all of the floor boards (I helped a little, but he did the large majority of it himself) and replaced them, cut, tongue and groove, nailed in, walls covered (more cutting and placing tongue in groove) and then he created a divider wall of wood and mesh screen doors, covering the lower portion with chicken wire. The finished result was FANTASTIC! (and if you consider that this was his first ever renovating project, it is all the more amazing - I really do not think a professional could have done better!!!)
The chicks just grow and grow and grow... we added some more nesting boxes and continue to watch them grow!
Fast forward almost a year! They are full grown and great layers!
(I don't have a picture right now, but will come back and add one!)
Chickens are fun, easy to keep, and contrary to all that I've heard about how they peck you when you gather eggs, and all of that, I haven't experienced anything like that... (just wait until they aren't on a nest to gather the eggs in the nests!)
Interesting notes - it seems with our chicks, there are two or three favorite nesting spots... never mind that there are enough boxes for them to each have their very own - and by putting an energy saver light bulb in one of the brooder lamps/ heat lamps, we can keep light on for them even on the darker days without running up an astronomical electric bill!
Home raised chickens' eggs are darker in color, richer in flavor, and fun to gather ;) it's exciting to see how many eggs we get each day!
This coming spring, when it's chick season again, we're thinking about getting another batch of baby chicks - doubling our little flock! We couldn't possibly use that many eggs, but I learned from a friend of mine that by having the extra eggs to sell, it basically makes the chickens pay for themselves!
Coming up next, our pig adventure!
Second generation Scouting!
My husband joined the Boy Scouts of America when he was in high school, and worked his way up to Eagle Scout. He has been a member of the Eagle Scout Association for some time now.
And now... that legacy continues! Our oldest son joined scouts this month, and he absolutely loves it! It's so great to have this organization with strong, Christian male leaders for our sons... this father-son activity... this time for a boy to join with other boys for good, clean, old fashioned fun! (especially if he has lots of older sisters!! ha!)
So, my scouting men continue to take the challenge - to be the men that God created them to be, and to do their part to make this world a better place. *happy sigh*
Little Dude is thrilled for the opportunity to go with Big Dude for father-son activities, and this month they are building a Derby race car together for the upcoming race. How fun!
Oh, and when he heard about the upcoming Father-Son camp out coming up, he was absolutely beside himself with excitement! Me thinks the family tent will be put to use long before the *family* goes camping this year - maybe they can scout out some good camping spots that are large family friendly while they are at it! :)
Sooooo proud of my men!! (the big and the littles)
And now... that legacy continues! Our oldest son joined scouts this month, and he absolutely loves it! It's so great to have this organization with strong, Christian male leaders for our sons... this father-son activity... this time for a boy to join with other boys for good, clean, old fashioned fun! (especially if he has lots of older sisters!! ha!)
So, my scouting men continue to take the challenge - to be the men that God created them to be, and to do their part to make this world a better place. *happy sigh*
Little Dude is thrilled for the opportunity to go with Big Dude for father-son activities, and this month they are building a Derby race car together for the upcoming race. How fun!
Oh, and when he heard about the upcoming Father-Son camp out coming up, he was absolutely beside himself with excitement! Me thinks the family tent will be put to use long before the *family* goes camping this year - maybe they can scout out some good camping spots that are large family friendly while they are at it! :)
Sooooo proud of my men!! (the big and the littles)
Friday, January 6, 2012
Signing praises...
No, that's not a typo... I didn't mean Singing Praises, though that is part of it... but Signing, ASL, hymns and praises to the Lord...
When I was in the 8th grade, I had this amazing music teacher... Miss Friesen. She had an awesome gift with music, instruments, singing, you name it! She was also the daughter of two deaf parents. I learned a lot from her, both during class times and during my lunch times that were sometimes spent in her classroom just having conversations... she made me feel important, but she also stressed how very much more GOD is important than any human or any thing...
One of the things that she taught my class was to sing and SIGN the song "Take My Life and Let It Be" - it's been many, many years, and I only remember part of the signs now... but in the last week or so, I have decided that I would really like to teach my children how to sign so many of these hymns that we love to sing... and even learn new ones... what a neat way to worship the Lord, and to really focus our singing on what is being said, instead of being distracted by what is around us during worship times...
So, I looked on amazon, I looked at CBD, I looked other places online... and then (duh!) I looked on Google! There are free resources online that have people signing to hymns and we can watch them for free and learn them that way! Cool!
Well, I thought I'd share one of the links... it's late and I need to browse through more of them later, but this one has my absolute favorite hymn... actually, I think Amazing Grace is a favorite for many, many people! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this :)
Here's the link:
http://www.indyhazmat.com/creative/Video/MainSongs.asp
When I was in the 8th grade, I had this amazing music teacher... Miss Friesen. She had an awesome gift with music, instruments, singing, you name it! She was also the daughter of two deaf parents. I learned a lot from her, both during class times and during my lunch times that were sometimes spent in her classroom just having conversations... she made me feel important, but she also stressed how very much more GOD is important than any human or any thing...
One of the things that she taught my class was to sing and SIGN the song "Take My Life and Let It Be" - it's been many, many years, and I only remember part of the signs now... but in the last week or so, I have decided that I would really like to teach my children how to sign so many of these hymns that we love to sing... and even learn new ones... what a neat way to worship the Lord, and to really focus our singing on what is being said, instead of being distracted by what is around us during worship times...
So, I looked on amazon, I looked at CBD, I looked other places online... and then (duh!) I looked on Google! There are free resources online that have people signing to hymns and we can watch them for free and learn them that way! Cool!
Well, I thought I'd share one of the links... it's late and I need to browse through more of them later, but this one has my absolute favorite hymn... actually, I think Amazing Grace is a favorite for many, many people! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this :)
Here's the link:
http://www.indyhazmat.com/creative/Video/MainSongs.asp
Thursday, January 5, 2012
What would you do if you were given a second chance at something important to you?
What would you do if you heard from a "long lost" relative whom you had parted badly with and they reappeared in your life?
What if that person were one of your parents?
This Christmas, I sent both of my parents Christmas cards... their notes were similar, very brief "You are in my thoughts and prayers. I love you." My father's included my email address in case he ever wanted to get in touch. I admit that it was nerve wracking, and I didn't dare to hope to ever hear from my father again... it's been so many years...
This morning I received an email from my father - the email itself had less than a handful of words, but there was an attachment... I had to deep breathe and just... pause... before opening it. I didn't know quite what I would find inside... what I did find was a 4 page typed letter to me from my father. It was difficult to read, to be honest. Now I have written him back, my response similar in length, my heart made as vulnerable as I suspect is humanly possible without actually removing my beating heart from my chest and putting it on the table before him. No, that would be disgusting and I am certain that he would reject that offering... Instead, I offered him my completely open, totally transparent self
- and I haven't sent it.
No, I need the wisdom and guidance of my husband, my head - to read my letter in response to my father's letter (and his letter to me). I need his blessing to send it, his suggestions in editing if it needs editing... I need his support. More than anything I need his support.
I feel undone, almost. A long letter, though a painful one, is the last thing I expected... My father has a gruff personality... at least that's how I remember him... but I almost wonder if, in his long letter, he isn't opening a crack in the window... if this might possibly be the start to healing our long damaged relationship... We have both been at fault, and it takes two to reconcile...
What if this is that chance?
Of course there is also the chance that he will reject my heart and I will be left picking up the pieces... I guess that's always a risk, isn't it?
Well, if you think of it, I would sure appreciate your prayers - for both of us - as we begin these communications... perhaps as we begin healing... perhaps it will be closure instead, a book shut for eternity. I hope that is not the case, but it is not my decision, ultimately... it is his.
And, while you're at it, I could use an extra dose of courage, while you are praying.
Thank you.
What if that person were one of your parents?
This Christmas, I sent both of my parents Christmas cards... their notes were similar, very brief "You are in my thoughts and prayers. I love you." My father's included my email address in case he ever wanted to get in touch. I admit that it was nerve wracking, and I didn't dare to hope to ever hear from my father again... it's been so many years...
This morning I received an email from my father - the email itself had less than a handful of words, but there was an attachment... I had to deep breathe and just... pause... before opening it. I didn't know quite what I would find inside... what I did find was a 4 page typed letter to me from my father. It was difficult to read, to be honest. Now I have written him back, my response similar in length, my heart made as vulnerable as I suspect is humanly possible without actually removing my beating heart from my chest and putting it on the table before him. No, that would be disgusting and I am certain that he would reject that offering... Instead, I offered him my completely open, totally transparent self
- and I haven't sent it.
No, I need the wisdom and guidance of my husband, my head - to read my letter in response to my father's letter (and his letter to me). I need his blessing to send it, his suggestions in editing if it needs editing... I need his support. More than anything I need his support.
I feel undone, almost. A long letter, though a painful one, is the last thing I expected... My father has a gruff personality... at least that's how I remember him... but I almost wonder if, in his long letter, he isn't opening a crack in the window... if this might possibly be the start to healing our long damaged relationship... We have both been at fault, and it takes two to reconcile...
What if this is that chance?
Of course there is also the chance that he will reject my heart and I will be left picking up the pieces... I guess that's always a risk, isn't it?
Well, if you think of it, I would sure appreciate your prayers - for both of us - as we begin these communications... perhaps as we begin healing... perhaps it will be closure instead, a book shut for eternity. I hope that is not the case, but it is not my decision, ultimately... it is his.
And, while you're at it, I could use an extra dose of courage, while you are praying.
Thank you.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Reading on...
My husband and I are working through the chronological "read through the Bible in a year" plan... it's extra neat because on the days/ nights when he is home, we sit and read aloud together... He reads from his NIV Study Bible and I follow along in my large print KJV Bible (yeah, I'm getting old - the letters in the other Bibles are just too small for my eyes these days, even with my glasses on!) We have noted several areas of interest thus far, and we're only on Genesis chapter 7! The difference in wording between the two versions is interesting, and has brought up some interesting questions and conversations. I love that I can ask my husband, my spiritual head, when something puzzles me, and learn from his understanding and wisdom! What a tremendous blessing to have a spiritual head who cares that I am in God's word and learning!
(for the record, he has always cared about that, but this is the first time we have purposed to study through God's word TOGETHER)
Some notes of interest...
In the creation account, it states that God told Adam not to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil... but when Eve is speaking to the serpent, she says that they were instructed to neither each OR touch... I find this interesting - from all appearances, it seems that she is adding to God's word... Hmmm... that makes one think, doesn't it? Is she indeed adding to God's word? That's something to ponder, isn't it? Then she eats and gives to Adam to eat, and then they play the blame game "the woman that you gave me, Lord, she made me do it!" (yeah, I'm paraphrasing a bit) and then "but Lord, I was beguiled by the serpent" (that's an interesting word, isn't it? beguiled...) She knew what the Lord said, and she knew that she should obey the Lord... you can just imagine that she must have been fighting her conscience as she touched that fruit and prepared to take that first sinful taste... I wonder if it left a bitter taste in her mouth? (I mean, after she gave to Adam, and they both realized that they were naked and had knowledge of good and evil)
Another thought - each day, as the Lord creates, at the end of the day he looks at His work and says "it is good" - but after he has created man and man has named all of the animals, God does not say "it is good", He says "it is not good" that man should be alone, and so He created woman. Now, He isn't saying that His creation of man is not good, He is saying that man needs a helper.. meet, or fit, for him... My husband always jokes that God used Adam's rib to form the woman so that she would always be close to man's heart - I don't know if there's any real truth to that, but I love the imagery! As I've been listening to Victoria Botkin's "She Shall Be Called Woman", she addresses this and says that it's like man is not complete without woman - she complements her husband and makes him complete - if that isn't convicting, I'm not sure what is... have you acted as a completion of your husband lately? Have you complemented your husband lately, or have you clashed with him? Hmmm... that gives pause, doesn't it? TJ and I have a very good marriage, and it is quite rare for us to not see eye to eye on things - but there are occasions where I step out of my God-appointed role and take MY way. Oooh, that's not good, and it usually results in conflict. Now, my gracious husband is wise to me, and he knows that it takes two to quarrel... and he doesn't take my bait when I'm fishing for an argument. Because of him and because of God's grace, we have never fought. Ever. Not in our coming up on 14 years of marriage, not in our over 30 years of friendship. Never. Ever. Ever. And that is sooo not because of any credit due to me. How convicting to think of those times when I was bucking my head, my husband and being un-complimentary... uuuugh... that's something I need to work more on.
Our husbands are our spiritual heads, the leaders God has given us to guide and lead us, to love us, to teach us, to take care of us... our job is to lovingly submit. A good husband seeks his wife's thoughts and opinions, but he still takes the lead and makes the decision he believes is right and best. He may not always be right, but it is his place to make those decisions and the wife's place to accept his leadership over her and submit to his decisions. Obviously, the exception to this is if her husband asks her to sin - God is the higher authority (the HIGHEST authority) and we should always, always live according to His word, but unless our husbands ask us to go against God's word, we are to submit to our husbands. Not be doormats, not be punching bags, not be slaves, but be submissive and loving partners.
So, Eve was created to be Adam's helper... not his head, not his leader, his helper. We wives were given to our husbands by the Lord to be their helpers. How helpful have you been lately? Are your priorities in line with your husband's desires and dreams? If not, why? If not, what do you need to do to honor your husband and make him, his desires, his dreams, a central point of your attitude and actions as his wife?
Moving on...
In chapter 4, Cain has killed Abel and God is confronting Cain about it... God meets down punishment and what is Cain's response? Well, first let's back up a bit... their offerings... Cain works the land for food... plants are his livelihood. Abel raises the animals... Cain beings some of what he has grown... there is no mention of being selective, of choosing the best, or even putting any thought into his gift - he picks some plants and takes them to be his offering. I haven't caught the significance of that before... I always wondered why was God displeased with Cain's offering? It's because it wasn't a real offering... it was just doing what was supposed to be done, without any real thought or effort put forth. Abel, on the other hand, takes of the firstborn of his flock... firstborn of his livelihood... what the growth of his flock depends upon, and he chooses the BEST. He selects a healthy, fat, best of the best. His offering has value, meaning, it has been given thought, and it comes of a personal sacrifice. This gift pleased the Lord. It wasn't just part of the abundance the Lord blessed Abel with, it was the best of the best of the best.
Wow... what part of our lives, of our time, of our thought are we giving the Lord? Is it the creme de la creme of what we have to offer or is it scant leftovers, given as an after thought? I have to confess to being guilty of sometimes giving as an afterthought... and sometimes, to my shame, not really at all. There have been days that I have gone without being in His word... without praying beyond "thank you for this food" or "Lord, give me patience... now, please!!!!" - what kind of relationship builder is THAT? How close would we feel to someone who gave us the time and attention that we so often give (or don't give) to God? Ok, that hurts... so what are you going to do about it?
Now, back to Cain's reaction to God's correction and punishment... my husband pointed this out in our discussion and I think it is profound... Abel does *not* feel regret for his action, he does not repent or seek forgiveness... he argues - but God, it's too much! I can't deal with that, it's too hard! He's worried that someone might do to him what he did to his brother... there's no "God, you're right. I was so wrong, please forgive me, Lord..." It's all fighting the consequence of his action, arguing his case rather than seeking restitution. That says a lot about his heart, doesn't it? How is your heart when God corrects you? It's hard to be admonished, to be punished or given painful consequences for our sinful choices, isn't it? How do we accept (or fight?) that admonishment? Do we pray "Lord, show me my sins that I might confess them to you and turn from them? or do we try to hide our secret sins from the God who knows all and sees everything? Are we willing to give our sins away, to be washed clean, and to be made new... fresh... by His forgiveness, His grace, and for His glory?
Something to really think on...
I like David's prayer - "Search me oh God... search me and know me." In another he asks God to "create in me a clean heart, O God" I pray the same... and ask Him to show me the sins in my life and for His help to turn from them, to walk away from them, to be washed clean... white as snow... to have a clean heart... and a hunger and love for the Lord that can not be equalled.
There's more, but that's all for the moment, since I am out of time for right now... food for thought - and some people say the Old Testament is boring... irrelevant... but if you're looking for food, you will find it there... if you are hungry for the Lord, get in His word... start at the beginning and seek out the challenges... think about what you are reading... look for questions, and when you find them, seek the answers. There's a lot of food for thought in this Book, God's word... how much can you glean from conversing with and listening to the Lord this year? How can you improve your walk with God this year, this month, this week... this day?
He tells us "seek and ye shall find" - I am seeking, and look forward to what I might find that I haven't really found before... and to being reminded of things I have found before and have forgotten. I have so much to learn, but He is a great Teacher - in fact He is the best!
(for the record, he has always cared about that, but this is the first time we have purposed to study through God's word TOGETHER)
Some notes of interest...
In the creation account, it states that God told Adam not to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil... but when Eve is speaking to the serpent, she says that they were instructed to neither each OR touch... I find this interesting - from all appearances, it seems that she is adding to God's word... Hmmm... that makes one think, doesn't it? Is she indeed adding to God's word? That's something to ponder, isn't it? Then she eats and gives to Adam to eat, and then they play the blame game "the woman that you gave me, Lord, she made me do it!" (yeah, I'm paraphrasing a bit) and then "but Lord, I was beguiled by the serpent" (that's an interesting word, isn't it? beguiled...) She knew what the Lord said, and she knew that she should obey the Lord... you can just imagine that she must have been fighting her conscience as she touched that fruit and prepared to take that first sinful taste... I wonder if it left a bitter taste in her mouth? (I mean, after she gave to Adam, and they both realized that they were naked and had knowledge of good and evil)
Another thought - each day, as the Lord creates, at the end of the day he looks at His work and says "it is good" - but after he has created man and man has named all of the animals, God does not say "it is good", He says "it is not good" that man should be alone, and so He created woman. Now, He isn't saying that His creation of man is not good, He is saying that man needs a helper.. meet, or fit, for him... My husband always jokes that God used Adam's rib to form the woman so that she would always be close to man's heart - I don't know if there's any real truth to that, but I love the imagery! As I've been listening to Victoria Botkin's "She Shall Be Called Woman", she addresses this and says that it's like man is not complete without woman - she complements her husband and makes him complete - if that isn't convicting, I'm not sure what is... have you acted as a completion of your husband lately? Have you complemented your husband lately, or have you clashed with him? Hmmm... that gives pause, doesn't it? TJ and I have a very good marriage, and it is quite rare for us to not see eye to eye on things - but there are occasions where I step out of my God-appointed role and take MY way. Oooh, that's not good, and it usually results in conflict. Now, my gracious husband is wise to me, and he knows that it takes two to quarrel... and he doesn't take my bait when I'm fishing for an argument. Because of him and because of God's grace, we have never fought. Ever. Not in our coming up on 14 years of marriage, not in our over 30 years of friendship. Never. Ever. Ever. And that is sooo not because of any credit due to me. How convicting to think of those times when I was bucking my head, my husband and being un-complimentary... uuuugh... that's something I need to work more on.
Our husbands are our spiritual heads, the leaders God has given us to guide and lead us, to love us, to teach us, to take care of us... our job is to lovingly submit. A good husband seeks his wife's thoughts and opinions, but he still takes the lead and makes the decision he believes is right and best. He may not always be right, but it is his place to make those decisions and the wife's place to accept his leadership over her and submit to his decisions. Obviously, the exception to this is if her husband asks her to sin - God is the higher authority (the HIGHEST authority) and we should always, always live according to His word, but unless our husbands ask us to go against God's word, we are to submit to our husbands. Not be doormats, not be punching bags, not be slaves, but be submissive and loving partners.
So, Eve was created to be Adam's helper... not his head, not his leader, his helper. We wives were given to our husbands by the Lord to be their helpers. How helpful have you been lately? Are your priorities in line with your husband's desires and dreams? If not, why? If not, what do you need to do to honor your husband and make him, his desires, his dreams, a central point of your attitude and actions as his wife?
Moving on...
In chapter 4, Cain has killed Abel and God is confronting Cain about it... God meets down punishment and what is Cain's response? Well, first let's back up a bit... their offerings... Cain works the land for food... plants are his livelihood. Abel raises the animals... Cain beings some of what he has grown... there is no mention of being selective, of choosing the best, or even putting any thought into his gift - he picks some plants and takes them to be his offering. I haven't caught the significance of that before... I always wondered why was God displeased with Cain's offering? It's because it wasn't a real offering... it was just doing what was supposed to be done, without any real thought or effort put forth. Abel, on the other hand, takes of the firstborn of his flock... firstborn of his livelihood... what the growth of his flock depends upon, and he chooses the BEST. He selects a healthy, fat, best of the best. His offering has value, meaning, it has been given thought, and it comes of a personal sacrifice. This gift pleased the Lord. It wasn't just part of the abundance the Lord blessed Abel with, it was the best of the best of the best.
Wow... what part of our lives, of our time, of our thought are we giving the Lord? Is it the creme de la creme of what we have to offer or is it scant leftovers, given as an after thought? I have to confess to being guilty of sometimes giving as an afterthought... and sometimes, to my shame, not really at all. There have been days that I have gone without being in His word... without praying beyond "thank you for this food" or "Lord, give me patience... now, please!!!!" - what kind of relationship builder is THAT? How close would we feel to someone who gave us the time and attention that we so often give (or don't give) to God? Ok, that hurts... so what are you going to do about it?
Now, back to Cain's reaction to God's correction and punishment... my husband pointed this out in our discussion and I think it is profound... Abel does *not* feel regret for his action, he does not repent or seek forgiveness... he argues - but God, it's too much! I can't deal with that, it's too hard! He's worried that someone might do to him what he did to his brother... there's no "God, you're right. I was so wrong, please forgive me, Lord..." It's all fighting the consequence of his action, arguing his case rather than seeking restitution. That says a lot about his heart, doesn't it? How is your heart when God corrects you? It's hard to be admonished, to be punished or given painful consequences for our sinful choices, isn't it? How do we accept (or fight?) that admonishment? Do we pray "Lord, show me my sins that I might confess them to you and turn from them? or do we try to hide our secret sins from the God who knows all and sees everything? Are we willing to give our sins away, to be washed clean, and to be made new... fresh... by His forgiveness, His grace, and for His glory?
Something to really think on...
I like David's prayer - "Search me oh God... search me and know me." In another he asks God to "create in me a clean heart, O God" I pray the same... and ask Him to show me the sins in my life and for His help to turn from them, to walk away from them, to be washed clean... white as snow... to have a clean heart... and a hunger and love for the Lord that can not be equalled.
There's more, but that's all for the moment, since I am out of time for right now... food for thought - and some people say the Old Testament is boring... irrelevant... but if you're looking for food, you will find it there... if you are hungry for the Lord, get in His word... start at the beginning and seek out the challenges... think about what you are reading... look for questions, and when you find them, seek the answers. There's a lot of food for thought in this Book, God's word... how much can you glean from conversing with and listening to the Lord this year? How can you improve your walk with God this year, this month, this week... this day?
He tells us "seek and ye shall find" - I am seeking, and look forward to what I might find that I haven't really found before... and to being reminded of things I have found before and have forgotten. I have so much to learn, but He is a great Teacher - in fact He is the best!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Happy New Year!!
Well, as we welcome in 2012 and say goodbye to 2011, it seems the thing to do is make resolutions... right? Ok, humor me... *Why?!??* I don't know about you, but *I* have *never* kept a New Year resolution for more than a few months at best... so why resolve something that we know is probably unrealistic? This year, I resolve to not resolve anything. Oh wait, that's a contradiction isn't it?
OK, so instead of RESOLVING to do or not to do, I am going to set achievable goals... goals that mean something to me, rather than what everyone seems to resolve every year and never actually accomplishes, or they accomplish and then go right back to their old ways... So yeah, I could stand to lose 10 or 20 pounds - but you know what? While I am striving to be more and more healthy (and yes, I've even cut the sugar in my tea and coffee in less than half *and* I've learned to actually like it that way!), I am not going to set a weight loss goal. Wouldn't I like to be thinner? Of course - that would be a given... but let's be realistic - I have given birth to EIGHT children, the youngest birth included my first ever C-Section (no, I can't blame the surgery - my stomach muscles were far from rough, tough, and tone... I have NEVER had a 6-pack, and seriously folks, I never (ever, ever, ever) will! I lack the drive, the desire, the TIME, or the discipline. Besides, my husband doesn't like skinny - he calls skinny women "swizzel sticks" and the brief time that I was truly (really, really) skinny (and oh so sick, which was how I got there in the first place!) he did not really care for my appearance. Now, I am exceedingly blessed with a husband who adores me - who loves me and appreciates my appearance (though I gotta tell ya, I've seen me first thing in the morning, and I just don't see what he likes so much about it... tousled hair, sleepy eyes, those wrinkles of aging seem so much more pronounced (ack!) Nah, I do NOT understand it, but I'm glad he feels that way even if I wonder about his sanity some days! He loves me - skinny or fat - but preferably at a comfortable HEALTHY weight just over skinny - you might call it "pleasingly plump" (though truly, I'm not so sure those words are as complimentary as they were once considered.
You might wish that my second goal, or non-resolution, would be to stop rabbit trailing so buggering much! Sorry, I know me, and that is just not realistic... it may seem that I am scatter brained, but really, I'm just super-multi-tasking. No, really.
So, first, I set the goal to be healthier in diet, though we tend to be pretty healthy already... but I could make some improvements in that area... the second goal is to take time to do more purposeful exercise.
There, I made the requisite selfish determinations.
Now, what REALLY matters? What non-resolution goals can I set that aren't all about me? Isn't that going to make a bigger difference in... well... everything around me? The world does not revolve around me, my family doesn't revolve around me, and I shouldn't revolve around me either. So, what are some truly worthy goals to set that are feasible and practical and helpful to the world around me?
Hmmm...
Well, as a large family, our ecological footprint should in theory be pretty big, right? Well, I took a class on Environmental Biology earlier this year before I **finally** finished my college degree and graduated (yeah!!!!!) and I really learned some good, practical information. We already use the energy saver light bulbs and have mostly energy star approved appliances (and honestly, those that aren't won't be replaced until they die, because we simply can not afford to go out and buy new ones... but when the necessity kicks in, we do buy energy star. Well, we could use less water... water that gets otherwise wasted... we could use less gas - that's not difficult... we're a ways away from town as it is, so I try to consolidate our trips as much as possible - if we have something scheduled, I try to plan errands around that scheduled event so we're not in town just for random stuff. The savings in gas money is a great incentive - but so is the savings in non-necessary spending!! Another saver is in electricity - yes, I already mentioned the energy saver stuff, but out here, with the big open sky, we are in a great place for solar energy. We put a small solar-powered light in the barn, and that's been helpful, but we hope to put larger solar panels on the chicken shed and the garage to power the minimal electricity that we use there (actually, with our sometimes sub-zero temps, the chicken shed uses a lot more power when we turn on a heat lamp to keep those little egg layers unfrozen and productive - and keeping our own chickens helps reduce our footprint, too!!).
We can buy less and recycle more. Out here, there is only one place that accepts plastic recycling - WalMart. Well, we have not shopped in a WalMart or Sam's Club in over 8 years - I look forward to making that 10 and 18 and 50... not going back there. For a variety of reasons, most of them political and moral. However, we do take our plastic recyclables there to drop off. I do need to do better about recycling cardboard and paper - we do this for the most part, but I can do better, so that's a goal for this year. Our eco-footprint, obtained from a neat online tool says that our family footprint is currently 2.5, and that to sustain our current lifestyle, we would need to own 10 acres. Convenient, that's just how much we have! Still, I look forward to reducing our footprint yet more with upcoming goals!
This past year, after settling in to our home and new life here, we added chickens, horses, and pigs to our "spread" - a friend calls it a mini-farm, and I love that title, but I'm just not sure we have *arrived* there... yet... This year we have 9 chickens - we bought 10, all were supposed to be girls... alas, one got trampled as a chick by the other chicks, and Duchess (one of the chicks) turned out to be a Duke instead... so we have 8 layers and one rooster. I've heard again and again how annoying roosters can be, so you can call me crazy if you like, but I happen to like the sound of our rooster's incessant crowing. Granted, it helps that the chicken shed is enclosed, and unless we have the shed door open, the sound is minimized. The chicks have a window that lets in natural light, and they seem happy - I've been told to prepare for them to stop laying, or seriously slow down in their laying, but we get an average of 7 eggs a day from our 8 layers, so it hasn't happened yet... we'll see when it does. IN the meanwhile, we have plans to enlarge our brood to double size - maybe up to 20 layers in all, we'll see - by summer. There is enough need for "farm fresh" eggs that I can sell what we don't need or use, which will also pay for the feed for all of the chickens - we already have the space and laying boxes, so now we just need the chicks!
We also raised two pigs this year, which made a delicious addition to our freezer and supper table. However, a few of my husband's co-workers and a couple of my friends asked if we would have any pigs to sell at butchering time. We didn't this year, but we will (Lord willing!) this coming year and in years to come. The pigs started out as 4-H projects for two of the girls, who quickly lost interest, and so the pigs became my project. It will remain my project, and as a means to help supplement our family income (primarily in paying for the expense of raising our own meat animals). I am also hoping to raise a couple of cows. Now realistically, I'm not sure if we'll be able to afford that this year or not - hopefully we can, but if we can't, then the profit from this coming year's pigs will finance the following year's cows. We buy the pigs as 50 pound wiggly weiners from one of the Hutterite colonies nearby, and I spoke with their dairy barn guy who said they sell the male dairy calves as either bottle fed or newly weaned calves. Obviously bottle fed are a LOT cheaper, because they haven't put as much work into them, so that's what we hope to buy - the bottle fed.
So, raising our own meat and egg-laying chickens (with enough extra to sell) not only makes for healthier living for our family, it reduces our family eco-footprint, and it helps with our income/ budget!
Now, outside of those things, it is my goal to involve my children (and obviously myself) in more community service. ACTIVE service. For years we have coordinated food drives, clothing drives, Christmas drives, donation drives for various causes... local pregnancy centers, pro-life organizations, inter-denominational groups that help encourage and support former addicts, church organizations that work to meet specific needs (like the church we attended just before leaving Texas, where our church became home to dozens of families displaced by Hurricane Katrina). However, with the exception of the church that became a shelter, most of these things have stopped at being drives to collect and distribute to their intended destinations. We need to purpose to VOLUNTEER OUR TIME as well. Most places limit volunteer helpers to a minimum age, which excludes most of my family - however, nursing homes are full of wonderful people who need loving attention, too, and our elderly in America are often unappeciated as the gems that they truly are. Other areas that accept "mini helpers" (tots and such) are also in need of people to give of their time and attention, not just *things* and money - so we purpose this year to find at least one of these places to dedicate some time, at regular intervals, to go and BE THERE and encourage and help as needed... I haven't figured out specifically and exactly what just yet, but there are a few possibilities that I'm exploring. The safety of our children is a huge factor in making this decision, and is the primary tricky spot to picking one or two. However, that doesn't take away from the need or our ability to reach out in this way.
There will probably be more... but this is where I am on non-resolution goals so far this year... and, my family is waiting for me, so I need to stop rabbit trailing and chattering anyway.
Have a happy New Year, and I'd love to hear what your goals for the coming year include! Inspire and challenge me to do more, to try new ideas, whatever - I'd love to hear what you are doing to make our world a better place in the new year!
OK, so instead of RESOLVING to do or not to do, I am going to set achievable goals... goals that mean something to me, rather than what everyone seems to resolve every year and never actually accomplishes, or they accomplish and then go right back to their old ways... So yeah, I could stand to lose 10 or 20 pounds - but you know what? While I am striving to be more and more healthy (and yes, I've even cut the sugar in my tea and coffee in less than half *and* I've learned to actually like it that way!), I am not going to set a weight loss goal. Wouldn't I like to be thinner? Of course - that would be a given... but let's be realistic - I have given birth to EIGHT children, the youngest birth included my first ever C-Section (no, I can't blame the surgery - my stomach muscles were far from rough, tough, and tone... I have NEVER had a 6-pack, and seriously folks, I never (ever, ever, ever) will! I lack the drive, the desire, the TIME, or the discipline. Besides, my husband doesn't like skinny - he calls skinny women "swizzel sticks" and the brief time that I was truly (really, really) skinny (and oh so sick, which was how I got there in the first place!) he did not really care for my appearance. Now, I am exceedingly blessed with a husband who adores me - who loves me and appreciates my appearance (though I gotta tell ya, I've seen me first thing in the morning, and I just don't see what he likes so much about it... tousled hair, sleepy eyes, those wrinkles of aging seem so much more pronounced (ack!) Nah, I do NOT understand it, but I'm glad he feels that way even if I wonder about his sanity some days! He loves me - skinny or fat - but preferably at a comfortable HEALTHY weight just over skinny - you might call it "pleasingly plump" (though truly, I'm not so sure those words are as complimentary as they were once considered.
You might wish that my second goal, or non-resolution, would be to stop rabbit trailing so buggering much! Sorry, I know me, and that is just not realistic... it may seem that I am scatter brained, but really, I'm just super-multi-tasking. No, really.
So, first, I set the goal to be healthier in diet, though we tend to be pretty healthy already... but I could make some improvements in that area... the second goal is to take time to do more purposeful exercise.
There, I made the requisite selfish determinations.
Now, what REALLY matters? What non-resolution goals can I set that aren't all about me? Isn't that going to make a bigger difference in... well... everything around me? The world does not revolve around me, my family doesn't revolve around me, and I shouldn't revolve around me either. So, what are some truly worthy goals to set that are feasible and practical and helpful to the world around me?
Hmmm...
Well, as a large family, our ecological footprint should in theory be pretty big, right? Well, I took a class on Environmental Biology earlier this year before I **finally** finished my college degree and graduated (yeah!!!!!) and I really learned some good, practical information. We already use the energy saver light bulbs and have mostly energy star approved appliances (and honestly, those that aren't won't be replaced until they die, because we simply can not afford to go out and buy new ones... but when the necessity kicks in, we do buy energy star. Well, we could use less water... water that gets otherwise wasted... we could use less gas - that's not difficult... we're a ways away from town as it is, so I try to consolidate our trips as much as possible - if we have something scheduled, I try to plan errands around that scheduled event so we're not in town just for random stuff. The savings in gas money is a great incentive - but so is the savings in non-necessary spending!! Another saver is in electricity - yes, I already mentioned the energy saver stuff, but out here, with the big open sky, we are in a great place for solar energy. We put a small solar-powered light in the barn, and that's been helpful, but we hope to put larger solar panels on the chicken shed and the garage to power the minimal electricity that we use there (actually, with our sometimes sub-zero temps, the chicken shed uses a lot more power when we turn on a heat lamp to keep those little egg layers unfrozen and productive - and keeping our own chickens helps reduce our footprint, too!!).
We can buy less and recycle more. Out here, there is only one place that accepts plastic recycling - WalMart. Well, we have not shopped in a WalMart or Sam's Club in over 8 years - I look forward to making that 10 and 18 and 50... not going back there. For a variety of reasons, most of them political and moral. However, we do take our plastic recyclables there to drop off. I do need to do better about recycling cardboard and paper - we do this for the most part, but I can do better, so that's a goal for this year. Our eco-footprint, obtained from a neat online tool says that our family footprint is currently 2.5, and that to sustain our current lifestyle, we would need to own 10 acres. Convenient, that's just how much we have! Still, I look forward to reducing our footprint yet more with upcoming goals!
This past year, after settling in to our home and new life here, we added chickens, horses, and pigs to our "spread" - a friend calls it a mini-farm, and I love that title, but I'm just not sure we have *arrived* there... yet... This year we have 9 chickens - we bought 10, all were supposed to be girls... alas, one got trampled as a chick by the other chicks, and Duchess (one of the chicks) turned out to be a Duke instead... so we have 8 layers and one rooster. I've heard again and again how annoying roosters can be, so you can call me crazy if you like, but I happen to like the sound of our rooster's incessant crowing. Granted, it helps that the chicken shed is enclosed, and unless we have the shed door open, the sound is minimized. The chicks have a window that lets in natural light, and they seem happy - I've been told to prepare for them to stop laying, or seriously slow down in their laying, but we get an average of 7 eggs a day from our 8 layers, so it hasn't happened yet... we'll see when it does. IN the meanwhile, we have plans to enlarge our brood to double size - maybe up to 20 layers in all, we'll see - by summer. There is enough need for "farm fresh" eggs that I can sell what we don't need or use, which will also pay for the feed for all of the chickens - we already have the space and laying boxes, so now we just need the chicks!
We also raised two pigs this year, which made a delicious addition to our freezer and supper table. However, a few of my husband's co-workers and a couple of my friends asked if we would have any pigs to sell at butchering time. We didn't this year, but we will (Lord willing!) this coming year and in years to come. The pigs started out as 4-H projects for two of the girls, who quickly lost interest, and so the pigs became my project. It will remain my project, and as a means to help supplement our family income (primarily in paying for the expense of raising our own meat animals). I am also hoping to raise a couple of cows. Now realistically, I'm not sure if we'll be able to afford that this year or not - hopefully we can, but if we can't, then the profit from this coming year's pigs will finance the following year's cows. We buy the pigs as 50 pound wiggly weiners from one of the Hutterite colonies nearby, and I spoke with their dairy barn guy who said they sell the male dairy calves as either bottle fed or newly weaned calves. Obviously bottle fed are a LOT cheaper, because they haven't put as much work into them, so that's what we hope to buy - the bottle fed.
So, raising our own meat and egg-laying chickens (with enough extra to sell) not only makes for healthier living for our family, it reduces our family eco-footprint, and it helps with our income/ budget!
Now, outside of those things, it is my goal to involve my children (and obviously myself) in more community service. ACTIVE service. For years we have coordinated food drives, clothing drives, Christmas drives, donation drives for various causes... local pregnancy centers, pro-life organizations, inter-denominational groups that help encourage and support former addicts, church organizations that work to meet specific needs (like the church we attended just before leaving Texas, where our church became home to dozens of families displaced by Hurricane Katrina). However, with the exception of the church that became a shelter, most of these things have stopped at being drives to collect and distribute to their intended destinations. We need to purpose to VOLUNTEER OUR TIME as well. Most places limit volunteer helpers to a minimum age, which excludes most of my family - however, nursing homes are full of wonderful people who need loving attention, too, and our elderly in America are often unappeciated as the gems that they truly are. Other areas that accept "mini helpers" (tots and such) are also in need of people to give of their time and attention, not just *things* and money - so we purpose this year to find at least one of these places to dedicate some time, at regular intervals, to go and BE THERE and encourage and help as needed... I haven't figured out specifically and exactly what just yet, but there are a few possibilities that I'm exploring. The safety of our children is a huge factor in making this decision, and is the primary tricky spot to picking one or two. However, that doesn't take away from the need or our ability to reach out in this way.
There will probably be more... but this is where I am on non-resolution goals so far this year... and, my family is waiting for me, so I need to stop rabbit trailing and chattering anyway.
Have a happy New Year, and I'd love to hear what your goals for the coming year include! Inspire and challenge me to do more, to try new ideas, whatever - I'd love to hear what you are doing to make our world a better place in the new year!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Trying something...
IF this works, you can see pictures of the quilts I made for the kids and my husband for Christmas... here goes... :)
This is Abigail's - she picked out the fabrics long ago, and they went into my fabric stash containers as we prepared for a move... four moves and five years ago. A little belated, but she was very happy to get it!
This is Rachel's quilt - I haven't tried this design before, and it's actually upside down in this picture - which I noticed *after* uploading it (and it's on her bed now, too, so it is what it is *grin*)
This is Sarah's quilt - she loves, loves, loves bright and happy colors - for some reason this makes me think of a starburst... even though starburst doesn't have blue in it. Ah well. Her squeals of joy made my heart sing. :)
This is Andrew's quilt. He is my John Deere tractor man... He loves tractors almost more than he loves trains, cars, and planes all put together (and that's saying a LOT if you know Andrew!)
This is Rebecca's quilt - it's hard to see in the picture, but the fabrics (pink, green, and yellow backgrounds) all have white butterflies on them - she LOOOOVES butterflies!
This is Benjamin's quilt- like big brother Andrew, he LOVES tractors... any and all "mighty machines", really - he was giddy over this quilt and I was treated to many smooshy kisses and Ben-Ben giggles!
This is Hannah's quilt... I'm not sure why, but the colors appear so much darker than reality in this picture... however, the colors are not pastels... I learned long ago that pastel colored quilts for little ones usually get ruined by stains - the solution? Darker colors! Preserves the color integrity and lets the quilt last so much longer :)
Finally, this is my husband's quilt... I made one with the same fabrics for his sister and her new husband after they were married, and he really loved the quilt... it's been several years since I made theirs, and I finally got around to finishing one for my beloved - this one is bigger than the large throw-blanket size that I made for the newlyweds, it easily fits on our queen sized bed with a bit extra on all sides. He was very pleased with it, and honestly, so am I! I haven't attempted that much hand sewing on any quilt before, but I love the result!
Here is a closer-up of the hand sewing... burgundy thread (burgundy is his favorite color) sewn around hand drawn hearts - you can't see it in the pictures, but I also stitched our first names in the upper left hand solid/ cream colored corner.
Now, I'm not sure why this landed on the bottom here, because it was the first one I clicked to load, and my husband's quilt it the last one I clicked to load... but this is Natasha's quilt... she's entered the age where she's still a little girl at heart, but she is growing up... and so I wanted to make her quilt a bit more grown up, too... the solid white squares (well, they aren't really - but it appears that way in the picture - in reality there is a tiny white on white floral/ vine print there) has lavender thread hand-sewn hearts. I guess I captured the little girl becoming a young woman well enough for her, because she loves the quilt and I got some very sweet teeny-bopper kisses and thank yous from her - I couldn't ask for a better response!
So, that's Christmas day three... (oh, and my very thoughtful husband - who knows I prefer practical things over frivolous things almost every single time - gifted me with the uberly wonderful gift of a smoker! Now when we butcher the animals we raise for meat, I can smoke them! Yeah!!!! and for the record, home-raised, home-butchered, home-cured, *and* home-smoked ham is THE BEST I have ever had... something about that hickory smoke flavor... Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..... :) Thank you, honey!)
This is Abigail's - she picked out the fabrics long ago, and they went into my fabric stash containers as we prepared for a move... four moves and five years ago. A little belated, but she was very happy to get it!
What *is* Christmas?
When you think of Christmas, what do you think of?
Is it Christmas presents, Santa Claus, parties, candy, and big fancy meals?
What does Christmas look like when you envision it? Do you see extravagant shopping trips and outrageous credit card bills for months to follow? Do you see fancy parties to which new outfits simply must be purchased in order to attend *and* have a good time?
What happened to Christmas? When did commercialism throw up all over Jesus' birthday?
Ok, I hope I didn't offend you, but really... when do we turn a birthday celebration - the celebration of someone who loves us more than life itself (quite literally) - turn into a celebration of self, me, me, me, me, and more, more, more, and gimmes? Ah, well, only at Christmas... we don't turn our children's birthdays into self-indulgent shopping sprees, do we? So why do we with our Lord's birthday?
With that said, it sounds like maybe we don't "do" Christmas - but we do. However, it's so important to keep the **meaning** of CHRISTmas *in* Christmas... Christ - our Lord, who came to this earth to live a breathing example of how we are to live, to overcome sin, to overcome death... to give His life as a living example, and to live through his death, his crucifixion, so that we might overcome death someday as well...
Where does Santa come in to that picture?
No, we don't teach our children to believe in Santa Claus... call us ogres if you like, we can take it! But Santa isn't real. There, I said it. It's true. The *premise* of Santa, based upon the life and story of Saint Nicholas *is* real, and he loved and worshipped our Lord and Savior - he gave to the needy, he helped the poor, he reached out to those in need... in the name and love of our Lord Jesus Christ. He didn't wear a red stocking cap with a white dingle ball on the end, he didn't come in all of his glory, ho-ho-ho-ing all the way there and back again... he came quietly, he came with discretion, he came in humility. He came bearing the gift of love as well as the meeting of real needs of real people.
Some people who dearly, truly love the Lord do not celebrate Christmas at all because it has become such a commercialized and sad business. You know, I can understand where they are coming from. We don't take that same stand, but I understand why they do... Some people who dearly and truly love the Lord go allll out and invite Santa into their homes and traditions, they go all out and have those extra credit card bills for months (or years) to come as a result... I don't understand this, but I don't have to - it's their homes and their families, and their decision. Do I agree with it? No. BUT I don't have to - it's not my place. But when it comes to MY family, it is my place... well, rephrase - it is my husband's and my place...
Our family belief is that it's ok to give gifts... we do party favors for birthdays, so we can do a few things for Christmas as well... but it needs to be in moderation, and it needs to not be the **focus** of the day - of the holiday (taken from the original "Holy Day")
So, how do we *do* Christmas? It starts at Thanksgiving... actually, it starts before that, but the celebratory days, the "decorated" days start on Thanksgiving evening. No, we don't have presents every day, but we like to make those days special.
Thanksgiving evening we put up our simply decorated tree and string a few lights and rustic garlands. We like simple - it suits us. I'm not saying a thing against those who prefer fancier decorations - it's all preference. :)
There are some wonderful books written to help keep the focus on Christmas and Easter (Lent). These are written by Arnold Ytreeide - they are written to be read a section each night for a specified number of days leading up to Christmas (and honestly, they make for a great family-reading at the supper table after the evening meal, if you would like to try it!). The titles for Advent/ Christmas are Bartholomew's Passage, Tabitha's Travels, and Jotham's Journey. I encourage you to pick one of them for your next Advent season to read with/ to your family and make that a part of your evening tradition.
Before Thanksgiving, we prepare for our holiday celebration by participating in Operation Christmas Child - this is a ministry through Samaritan's Purse - it's too late to do shoeboxes for this year, but it's not too late to give... they take donations through the year, and Samaritan's Purse ministers to flood/ storm victims as needed, they minister to Americans and those in other countries as they see need and are led of the Lord. Their website is http://www.samaritanspurse.org/
After Thanksgiving we turn our attention to organizations more local to us - our local pregnancy center, rescue mission, and sometimes rehab centers/ recovery centers. A few years ago we spent a day singing at a hospice - quietly singing through the hallways as a special way to minister to families spending their last days together before ushering a loved family member into eternity. Whatever you do, please take time to do something, no matter how small or how extravagant, to minister to those who are hurting over the holiday season. It doesn't have to be *stuff*, it can be as simple as your time... one of the absolutely most valuable gifts you can give. So many hurting people out there, so many needs... so many lonely individuals... if it's spending 5 minutes listening to an elderly man or woman at the grocery store (yes, a total stranger) and giving them an encouraging smile or a hug before parting or caroling at a nursing home, or serving meals at your local shelter, or organizing a clothing, food, or gift drive for those in need... do something, I challenge you, to make this season special to someone outside of your own family - immediate or extended.
Gifts - yes, we do exchange gifts for Christmas... it has been our tradition to do the "7 days of Christmas" leading up to Christmas - we do a name exchange for the family, so each person has the name of one other person in our home to give a gift to, we have a gift from my husband's parents (usually they send us a check to buy a gift in their stead, which is usually a membership to someplace for the family... in years past it's usually been the zoo - there isn't a zoo where we live now, but here we have a children's museum, which we are all excited about!) then there are 5 days of gifts from Daddy and Mama. This year I made each of the kids and my husband bed quilts. It's a lot colder up here in the north than it was when we were stationed in the south! Texas and Alabama are considerably warmer and more humid than the Northwest!! (we love it here, for the record). I haven't tried uploading pictures to my blog yet, so I'll try... no guarantees... but I started working on their quilts in January - but that's 9 quilts, so I needed a good bit of time to get them done! It came down to a crunch on time there at the end, and there were several nights where I worked until 2 or 3 in the morning, sewing - one night/ morning until 5... but no matter what time *I* go to bed, my children are early risers, and I need to be up early too - so the uber-late nights were limited. I'm not as young as I once was, after all, and all nighters just don't work for me so much anymore! Yeah, showing my age... I like naps, too, though they are rare... When I'm old old, and my children are all grown and have children and perhaps grandchildren, if I am still alive, I plan to take a nap EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Ha. It just sounds loverly, doesn't it?
Anyway, yes, we exchange gifts, but we keep things simple... we don't do electronic toys (personal preference for both my husband and myself) and we don't spend a tremendous amount of money (we don't have it to spend anyway - but I think that's probably a good thing... yeah, you can think I'm crazy, but I'm glad we aren't *rich* in money or wordly things... we are, however, rich in those things of eternal value, and I am so very thankful for that!!)
Christmas day this year, we were so excited to have land on a Sunday! Even more so because Daddy/ my husband was home for Christmas, so we could attend as a family, rather than having him gone. (the military doesn't care if it's a holiday, someone still has to defend and protect our country... after all, Terrorists do not only attack during business hours, Monday through Friday.)
Now, I have heard many people complaining this year about churches holding church services on Sunday morning... and how wrong it is... and how it interferes with their family traditions and Christmas celebration. This I just do not understand... HOW is going to the Lord's house on Christmas Day taking *away* from Christmas? If you are celebrating someone's birthday, do you not look forward to going to their house to celebrate *that person*?? Isn't Christmas when we celebrate the birth of our Lord?? So isn't it a great gift to be able to attend church services on that very special day? I think it is - you're welcome to disagree with me, but I'm going to look at you strange if you do! I'll still love you, but I will think you are strange.
Christmas... what is it? What is it REALLY? It is a celebration of our Lord - it is a time of giving... not just to our very own loved ones, but to those in the world alongside of us... to those in need, to those who are lonely, to those who need an extra measure of love and attention during a typically busy season where so often loneliness and poverty are more deeply felt by those struggling through.
So, what will YOU do *next* Christmas to make a difference to those around you? This is my challenge to you - think ahead, PURPOSE to do something to make a difference, to expand your own little world. If you already do something, I challenge you to add something more. Involve the family, the children, and make it a family tradition. I guarantee it will become one of the more memorable and favorite parts of your holiday traditions!
Is it Christmas presents, Santa Claus, parties, candy, and big fancy meals?
What does Christmas look like when you envision it? Do you see extravagant shopping trips and outrageous credit card bills for months to follow? Do you see fancy parties to which new outfits simply must be purchased in order to attend *and* have a good time?
What happened to Christmas? When did commercialism throw up all over Jesus' birthday?
Ok, I hope I didn't offend you, but really... when do we turn a birthday celebration - the celebration of someone who loves us more than life itself (quite literally) - turn into a celebration of self, me, me, me, me, and more, more, more, and gimmes? Ah, well, only at Christmas... we don't turn our children's birthdays into self-indulgent shopping sprees, do we? So why do we with our Lord's birthday?
With that said, it sounds like maybe we don't "do" Christmas - but we do. However, it's so important to keep the **meaning** of CHRISTmas *in* Christmas... Christ - our Lord, who came to this earth to live a breathing example of how we are to live, to overcome sin, to overcome death... to give His life as a living example, and to live through his death, his crucifixion, so that we might overcome death someday as well...
Where does Santa come in to that picture?
No, we don't teach our children to believe in Santa Claus... call us ogres if you like, we can take it! But Santa isn't real. There, I said it. It's true. The *premise* of Santa, based upon the life and story of Saint Nicholas *is* real, and he loved and worshipped our Lord and Savior - he gave to the needy, he helped the poor, he reached out to those in need... in the name and love of our Lord Jesus Christ. He didn't wear a red stocking cap with a white dingle ball on the end, he didn't come in all of his glory, ho-ho-ho-ing all the way there and back again... he came quietly, he came with discretion, he came in humility. He came bearing the gift of love as well as the meeting of real needs of real people.
Some people who dearly, truly love the Lord do not celebrate Christmas at all because it has become such a commercialized and sad business. You know, I can understand where they are coming from. We don't take that same stand, but I understand why they do... Some people who dearly and truly love the Lord go allll out and invite Santa into their homes and traditions, they go all out and have those extra credit card bills for months (or years) to come as a result... I don't understand this, but I don't have to - it's their homes and their families, and their decision. Do I agree with it? No. BUT I don't have to - it's not my place. But when it comes to MY family, it is my place... well, rephrase - it is my husband's and my place...
Our family belief is that it's ok to give gifts... we do party favors for birthdays, so we can do a few things for Christmas as well... but it needs to be in moderation, and it needs to not be the **focus** of the day - of the holiday (taken from the original "Holy Day")
So, how do we *do* Christmas? It starts at Thanksgiving... actually, it starts before that, but the celebratory days, the "decorated" days start on Thanksgiving evening. No, we don't have presents every day, but we like to make those days special.
Thanksgiving evening we put up our simply decorated tree and string a few lights and rustic garlands. We like simple - it suits us. I'm not saying a thing against those who prefer fancier decorations - it's all preference. :)
There are some wonderful books written to help keep the focus on Christmas and Easter (Lent). These are written by Arnold Ytreeide - they are written to be read a section each night for a specified number of days leading up to Christmas (and honestly, they make for a great family-reading at the supper table after the evening meal, if you would like to try it!). The titles for Advent/ Christmas are Bartholomew's Passage, Tabitha's Travels, and Jotham's Journey. I encourage you to pick one of them for your next Advent season to read with/ to your family and make that a part of your evening tradition.
Before Thanksgiving, we prepare for our holiday celebration by participating in Operation Christmas Child - this is a ministry through Samaritan's Purse - it's too late to do shoeboxes for this year, but it's not too late to give... they take donations through the year, and Samaritan's Purse ministers to flood/ storm victims as needed, they minister to Americans and those in other countries as they see need and are led of the Lord. Their website is http://www.samaritanspurse.org/
After Thanksgiving we turn our attention to organizations more local to us - our local pregnancy center, rescue mission, and sometimes rehab centers/ recovery centers. A few years ago we spent a day singing at a hospice - quietly singing through the hallways as a special way to minister to families spending their last days together before ushering a loved family member into eternity. Whatever you do, please take time to do something, no matter how small or how extravagant, to minister to those who are hurting over the holiday season. It doesn't have to be *stuff*, it can be as simple as your time... one of the absolutely most valuable gifts you can give. So many hurting people out there, so many needs... so many lonely individuals... if it's spending 5 minutes listening to an elderly man or woman at the grocery store (yes, a total stranger) and giving them an encouraging smile or a hug before parting or caroling at a nursing home, or serving meals at your local shelter, or organizing a clothing, food, or gift drive for those in need... do something, I challenge you, to make this season special to someone outside of your own family - immediate or extended.
Gifts - yes, we do exchange gifts for Christmas... it has been our tradition to do the "7 days of Christmas" leading up to Christmas - we do a name exchange for the family, so each person has the name of one other person in our home to give a gift to, we have a gift from my husband's parents (usually they send us a check to buy a gift in their stead, which is usually a membership to someplace for the family... in years past it's usually been the zoo - there isn't a zoo where we live now, but here we have a children's museum, which we are all excited about!) then there are 5 days of gifts from Daddy and Mama. This year I made each of the kids and my husband bed quilts. It's a lot colder up here in the north than it was when we were stationed in the south! Texas and Alabama are considerably warmer and more humid than the Northwest!! (we love it here, for the record). I haven't tried uploading pictures to my blog yet, so I'll try... no guarantees... but I started working on their quilts in January - but that's 9 quilts, so I needed a good bit of time to get them done! It came down to a crunch on time there at the end, and there were several nights where I worked until 2 or 3 in the morning, sewing - one night/ morning until 5... but no matter what time *I* go to bed, my children are early risers, and I need to be up early too - so the uber-late nights were limited. I'm not as young as I once was, after all, and all nighters just don't work for me so much anymore! Yeah, showing my age... I like naps, too, though they are rare... When I'm old old, and my children are all grown and have children and perhaps grandchildren, if I am still alive, I plan to take a nap EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Ha. It just sounds loverly, doesn't it?
Anyway, yes, we exchange gifts, but we keep things simple... we don't do electronic toys (personal preference for both my husband and myself) and we don't spend a tremendous amount of money (we don't have it to spend anyway - but I think that's probably a good thing... yeah, you can think I'm crazy, but I'm glad we aren't *rich* in money or wordly things... we are, however, rich in those things of eternal value, and I am so very thankful for that!!)
Christmas day this year, we were so excited to have land on a Sunday! Even more so because Daddy/ my husband was home for Christmas, so we could attend as a family, rather than having him gone. (the military doesn't care if it's a holiday, someone still has to defend and protect our country... after all, Terrorists do not only attack during business hours, Monday through Friday.)
Now, I have heard many people complaining this year about churches holding church services on Sunday morning... and how wrong it is... and how it interferes with their family traditions and Christmas celebration. This I just do not understand... HOW is going to the Lord's house on Christmas Day taking *away* from Christmas? If you are celebrating someone's birthday, do you not look forward to going to their house to celebrate *that person*?? Isn't Christmas when we celebrate the birth of our Lord?? So isn't it a great gift to be able to attend church services on that very special day? I think it is - you're welcome to disagree with me, but I'm going to look at you strange if you do! I'll still love you, but I will think you are strange.
Christmas... what is it? What is it REALLY? It is a celebration of our Lord - it is a time of giving... not just to our very own loved ones, but to those in the world alongside of us... to those in need, to those who are lonely, to those who need an extra measure of love and attention during a typically busy season where so often loneliness and poverty are more deeply felt by those struggling through.
So, what will YOU do *next* Christmas to make a difference to those around you? This is my challenge to you - think ahead, PURPOSE to do something to make a difference, to expand your own little world. If you already do something, I challenge you to add something more. Involve the family, the children, and make it a family tradition. I guarantee it will become one of the more memorable and favorite parts of your holiday traditions!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Every prayer gets answered... really.
Every prayer gets answered…
Every time we pray, our prayers are answered… we might not be able to see it, we might not really and truly *feel* it, but we get answered each and every time… Sometimes we get what we want, and we hear “yes” – sometimes we hear what we do not want, and we hear “no” or “wait” or “just be patient”, except that we don’t really hear those answers, do we? Sometimes we ask God for healing for a body and the healing He gives is through earthly death that begins a new life in Heaven. Sometimes we beg him for the life of our unborn children, and His answer is “yes, heavenly life”.
I went through my 7th miscarriage two months ago. My 15th pregnancy. The baby had a heartbeat at our 8 week ultrasound and seemed to be growing well, things looked good, and though I am high risk and have gone through many losses, I began to hope that we would be blessed with another sweet baby in the months to come… I was excited about the growing belly I had to hold and to love the little life inside, I was excited about adding another place at our family table… but then one evening I started to bleed… just a bit… “oh, Lord, please protect my little one…” as the bleeding increased, I prayed “Lord, please, not again… not this one. Please, Lord.” My husband’s prayer was longer and more intelligible; all I could pray was “Please, Lord… not again.” I was eleven weeks, and starting to show, I loved that little one with a love unexplainable to those who have not experienced it – I do not have the words… By the next morning we went in for an ultrasound and our baby’s heartbeat was no longer. I felt my own heart shredding into many pieces and yet while the tears were there, I didn’t break down and cry just then. I knew that my baby was with the Lord… that helps a little…
SO many losses, so many sweet babies I’ve never been able to hold… and I prayed on the way home, “Lord, please, let me hold this one just for a moment… let me say goodbye, please…” and I waited. That day was hard, emotionally, waiting, knowing the inevitable was going to happen. My heart felt raw and heavy – even my sweet little ones could not bring a smile to my face. The children knew I had been pregnant, when I whispered the news to my husband weeks earlier, he excitedly blurt the news to our children “Do you want a baby brother or sister this time?” it took only a few seconds for his meaning to sink in and they were all screaming and cheering and excited – we went for ice cream to celebrate on the way home.
The first ultrasound was too early to really see anything, so we rescheduled. My youngest was not even a year yet, so I really wasn’t sure how far along I might be at that time. According to the ultrasound, it was about 5 weeks, give or take a little… three weeks later I was back on the ultrasound table, nervous, anxious… what a breath of relief to see that tiny heartbeat pumping away…. My little peanut, growing inside of me…
Weeks later, to lose that precious little life hurt so deeply. It surprised me to feel my water break, but I knew that was what happened… I had mild contractions through out the day, then a mildly painful bursting, and I knew… I ran for the bathroom and when I got there, my little one was out. So very, very tiny… with arms and legs so very tiny – just starting to distinguish themselves from the body that weeks before had looked like a peanut, a tadpole… dark eyes and a mouth, still closed over with a thin transparent layer of skin… and I could see the heart, not beating through the tiny somewhat transparent body. I am so thankful that the Lord allowed me that, and yet it was so very painful… I cried hard and long, feeling my heart shattering with the loss of such a tiny life…
Always before, when I have lost a baby, we have lived in an apartment or on military base housing. Most of those babies were too small to see when they passed out of me. Both of my second trimester losses had to be dealt with medically because things did not progress normally and there was risk of hemorrhage, so I never saw those babies. This was a gift to be allowed to see and hold my tiny one, born far too soon, and gone before birth. To be able to say goodbye, to say it to someone I could see and touch. And yet it was also heartbreakingly painful. This time, we have our own home, our own land... and so we were able to do something to commemorate the life of our little one. I bought a pretty, hinged earring box and lined it with soft material - we placed our baby inside and we buried our little one in our yard, and we planted a tree right over that spot. We chose a Norway Maple to be "Baby's tree". Our little one was not developed enough yet to distinguish if we had a son or daughter, and it felt strange to me to name our genderless baby - no name seemed to really fit. (I'm not speaking against those who choose to name their deceased unborn or still born children - it is a beautiful thing if you have a name that fits and is meaningful to you - we just couldn't find a name that felt... right. So we call our little one "Baby", and that is Baby's tree - planted right where I walk by it twice or more each day, when I go to the garden or to the chicken shed.
It is my conviction, my deeply held belief that life begins at conception. Every life is precious – life is sacred, given by God. He knows the number of our days before we are ever conceived. As David writes, God knows us before we are even knit in our mother’s womb… God knew my babies before they were conceived, and He has allowed some to be born to my arms, and He has allowed some to be born straight into heaven. Why? I don’t know. But I am so very thankful that I don’t have to know why or understand it all for it to be true… and I know that God’s love surpasses even that of a mother’s love. For that I am grateful.
Long ago the Lord convicted me that my fertility is to be under His control, not mine. I, who had a plan – I wanted to have two or three children and would go on to become a teacher at my children’s school… I had plans, I had dreams, I had it allll figured out. Right.
God also had a plan, and His far surpassed anything I might have imagined. Sure, as a kid, I draw a diagram of the house I someday would have, I would have twelve children and a mother-in-law room on my house. I had dreams of being surrounded by loving little bodies and always patient and kind and the perfect mom.
Then I grew up. Reality check. OK, 2 or 3 kids, a job, a loving husband… the order wasn’t my focus, it was just all part of the eventual dream.
Well, reality was when the Lord spoke to my heart – without question – that He wanted to be in charge. He wanted my trust (and I have trust issues, in case you haven’t figured that out yet – I’m learning and I’ve come a long way, but I still struggle with trust sometimes…) God placed it clearly on my heart to leave control over my family size in His hands… This after He changed the way I dress (no more tight jeans, no more pants or short skirts, no more clothing that shows more than anyone but my husband should see… no more gaudy jewelry, attention grabbing make up, different hair colors every few weeks…) He brought me back to who He created me to be – premature white streaks in my hair and all! The only two “people” that I have to impress with my appearance is God and my husband. In that order. And in pleasing my God with my dress, my hair, my face, I also please my husband who loves me for the person God created me to be.
OK, so I give you control, Lord. What are you going to do with it? Oh, wait, that’s right… that’s part of the trust, isn’t it? Not knowing and not having to know… Your will be done, Lord.
Over the years I’ve battled with that – Lord, really? How am I going to keep up with five young children? Please give me stamina, patience, and wisdom… and an extra measure to boot… I had my moments of doubt “is this really wise, Lord? Ok, yes, I will trust you… but I need your help to do it…”
Now, eight children into it, I believe that God had a plan far, far greater than any I could have ever imagined… and I am so glad He got me to listen! Thank you, Lord, for the blessings you have given… for those in my arms, and those who remain only in my heart… It is my hope that some day, when it is my time to meet my Lord and my Creator, that I will also meet my children who have gone to the Lord before me. That we can worship the Lord together – that I can tell them each how very much I loved them, even though I did not hold them in this life… and we will be in the Lord’s presence all together.
Until that time, it is my job to trust God for His perfect timing, and to know that He answers prayers – just not always the way we want Him to… and sometimes His answer isn’t a yes or a no, but a “wait and be still…”
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