What would you do if you were given a second chance at something important to you?

What would you do if you heard from a "long lost" relative whom you had parted badly with and they reappeared in your life?

What if that person were one of your parents?

This Christmas, I sent both of my parents Christmas cards...   their notes were similar, very brief "You are in my thoughts and prayers.  I love you." My father's included my email address in case he ever wanted to get in touch.  I admit that it was nerve wracking, and I didn't dare to hope to ever hear from my father again...  it's been so many years...

This morning I received an email from my father - the email itself had less than a handful of words, but there was an attachment...  I had to deep breathe and just...  pause...  before opening it.  I didn't know quite what I would find inside...  what I did find was a 4 page typed letter to me from my father.  It was difficult to read, to be honest.  Now I have written him back, my response similar in length, my heart made as vulnerable as I suspect is humanly possible without actually removing my beating heart from my chest and putting it on the table before him.  No, that would be disgusting and I am certain that he would reject that offering...  Instead, I offered him my completely open, totally transparent self

 - and I haven't sent it. 

No, I need the wisdom and guidance of my husband, my head - to read my letter in response to my father's letter (and his letter to me).  I need his blessing to send it, his suggestions in editing if it needs editing...  I need his support.  More than anything I need his support.

I feel undone, almost.  A long letter, though a painful one, is the last thing I expected...  My father has a gruff personality...  at least that's how I remember him...  but I almost wonder if, in his long letter, he isn't opening a crack in the window...  if this might possibly be the start to healing our long damaged relationship...  We have both been at fault, and it takes two to reconcile...

What if this is that chance?

Of course there is also the chance that he will reject my heart and I will be left picking up the pieces...  I guess that's always a risk, isn't it?

Well, if you think of it, I would sure appreciate your prayers - for both of us - as we begin these communications...  perhaps as we begin healing...  perhaps it will be closure instead, a book shut for eternity.  I hope that is not the case, but it is not my decision, ultimately...  it is his.

And, while you're at it, I could use an extra dose of courage, while you are praying. 

Thank you.